Heal Your Life, Achieve Your Dreams Workshop!!!

Presented by Danijela Todorovic Certified Workshop Leader

The Heal Your Life, Achieve Your Dreams workshop, based on the philosophy and teachings of Louise L. Hay, is a powerful experience in personal development designed to enhance your inner growth and raise your current level of awareness.

This one day workshop provides an opportunity to connect, explore and challenge unresourceful and limiting beliefs, emotions and patterns that prevents experiencing life as it is desired to be.

In a safe, supportive and non-judgemental environment you will be guided to create life-affirming and more empowering beliefs that will assist you on your journey of realising your true potential. You will also receive practical tips and strategies that will enable you to easily and effortlessly integrate your newly created beliefs into your day to day life.

If you have a genuine desire to change certain aspects of your life and are willing to commit to “do the work” then this is the workshop for you.

About the presenter

Danijela is a Transpersonal Counsellor and a Life coach who specialises in assisting people attract and create fulfilling and meaningful life experiences.

Since encountering Louise Hay’s teachings in the mid 1990s she has spent years learning and applying the principles in her life with great success. In April 2007 Danijela completed the teacher-training course in Perth, which qualified her to facilitate her own workshops and study courses.

Danijela brings her passion and dedication to healing and helping others on their journey of personal growth and development. Her workshops are practical, fun and blend a variety of modalities and techniques including explorations through artwork, working with symbols and dreams, guided meditation and visualisation.

Heal Your Life®, workshops and seminars are based on the principles of the book, “You Can Heal Your Life®”, by Louise L. Hay and have been attended by hundreds of thousands of people worldwide since the early 1980s. Nine key points of Louise Hay’s philosophy are: • What we give out, we get back • What we believe about ourselves and life becomes true for us • Every thought we have is creating our future and we can change our thought processes for the better • We are worth loving • Self approval and self acceptance are the keys to positive change • We can release the past and forgive everyone • Forgiveness opens the doorway to love • Love is the most powerful healing force there is • Just be willing!

Choose to create peace, harmony and balance and be willing to have a great life!

Date: Sunday 20th February 2011

Time: 10.00 am to 5.00 pm

Venue: Augustine Centre (Cooper Room) 2 Minona Street, Hawthorn (Map 45 E11)

Cost: $165 for non-members and $135 for ADAVIC members.

Max participants of 15 only!

Book online at http://www.adavic.org.au/ or call (03) 9853-8089

Empowering your child to deal with School Bullying Lecture!

Overview

Most children are bullied, bully others or witness bullying at school. Thus bullying is a huge problem for schools, teachers, parents and students. The core of Evelyn’s work is her Social Survival Skills model which teaches students simple techniques to block bullying behaviours. Areas covered:

Bullying Blocking at School

•Description and causes
•Injuries (short and long term)
•Legal implications

Role of parents and the community

Role of the School
•Whole school approach
•Prevention, protocols and procedures
•Training programs
•Crisis intervention procedures & disciplinary action
•Developing options
•Role of bystanders and teachers.

About the Presenter
Evelyn M. Field, FAPS, is a practising counselling psychologist. She has been appointed a Fellow of the Australian Psychological Society and is one of their media spokespersons. She has done over 800 media interviews on a wide range of topics, appearing on the "Today show", "Good Morning Australia", "A Current Affair", "Seven thirty Report", "Today Tonight Show", Channel Seven News. She spent time as Resident Psychologist for Channel Ten's "9 AM" show with David and Kim.

She was an Accredited Speaking Member of National Speakers Association of Australia and has spoken in New Zealand, Belgium, Spain, USA, Vietnam and Israel. She gives regular keynotes and workshops to schools, organizations and therapists.

Evelyn speaks to organizations about managing workplace bullying and to schools about school bullying, helping students build their emotional and social resilience, bully blocking skills for kids and parenting skills.



Date: 17th February 2011
Venue: Kingston City Hall (Function Room B) 985 Nepean Highway, Moorabbin. Vic
(Melways ref: 77/D5)

Cost: $20 non members and $10 ADAVIC Members

Bookings can be made online at www.adavic.org.au or call our office on (03) 9853-8089

Quote of the Day!

Give yourself something to work toward--constantly.

MY JOURNEY THROUGH AGORAPHOBIA by Janesse – March 2010

Part Six

Hi everyone,

I hope this year brings everyone peace and joy.

On this journey of mine I am continuing to make progress.
I have had some great successes and also some great disappointments when I haven’t been able to do something that I wanted to do.

It continues to be one step forward, two steps back.
OK, sometimes it feels like twenty steps back!
On my good days I try to believe though that sometimes we can learn more from our failures than our successes.

One of the successes I have had involves Christmas. Because of my agoraphobia I have spent many Christmas’s home all on my own, listening to the sounds of families all around me celebrating and feeling sad. This year for the first time in many years I was able to go with my partner to his family for the Christmas celebration. I was extremely anxious about going and worried how I would get through it. My partner reassured me that if I started to get really anxious that he would take me home. That helped me feel a bit better but I of course did not want to take that option unless I really had to.

I also told myself I could excuse myself and go lie down on one of the children’s beds for a while if things became too much. I also knew I could ring my good friend who also suffers from an anxiety disorder and she would talk to me. As it turned out I didn’t need to do any of those things on the day. Even though I had quite a few anxious moments I was able to handle it without them escalating.

In the car driving there (another big deal for me as it is about a twenty minute drive), I had a few thoughts of asking my partner to turn back and take me home as I did start to feel anxious.
But I really did want to go, I did not want to be at home alone, I wanted to see my partner’s family, some of whom I had not seen for a long time. I should mention here that only a few people in his family know about my agoraphobia. Actually, I suspect that they mostly all know but I have not told them myself and I have never discussed it with any of them. I know that in some ways if they knew it may make things easier in some respects for me, but I confess I am embarrassed about my agoraphobia, too embarrassed to tell them and not ready to talk to them about it yet. The relationship between my partner and I and his family is complicated (aren’t they all!!) and I am uncomfortable talking to them about it yet.

Anyhow, we got there and I was very nervous! I started chatting and helping with things as more people arrived, and I got nicely caught up talking to people which helped make me feel a bit more at ease. When we all sat down to eat, I started feeling a little bit trapped at the table and worried about panicking. I tried to just let go of my tight muscles and let them flop a little to help relax me, which helped. I concentrated on how nice it was for me to be here finally having a Christmas which was not spent on my own. It felt so good to be out and having a meal with people!!!

I have had to make so many excuses over the years for why I couldn’t attend my partners family functions, and I had missed so many that it brought tears to my eyes to think I was actually here doing it.

I then got really sad thinking of all the times I had missed, all those hours spent alone, because of my agoraphobia. I have missed so much. Not just at Christmas but all the many occasions that I couldn’t go out to because of my fear and panic. I have been stuck inside scared while my life is passing by quicker and quicker. Even typing this now makes me want to cry for all the wasted, wasted days.

Agoraphobia is a dreadful disorder. It makes you feel so isolated and alone, and then makes you ashamed and down on yourself because you can’t seem to conquer your fear. Then you get lost in despair, as I have been many times.

I did get through Christmas Day, actually more than get through it, I enjoyed myself. I confess I had a couple of glasses of wine which enhanced my enjoyment!
Those days, as well as my other successes in going out, have been a long time coming and I have felt hopeless many times. I was pondering on what I could tell those of you with agoraphobia to help you if you had an outing or a place you wanted to go. I was trying to think about what strategies had helped me and what I could pass on.
The thing is, I realized that my agoraphobia has, as the title above me says, been a journey. I know I must sound like a broken record, but I truly believe I wouldn’t be able to do the things I am now able to do without two things:

Psychotherapy and Pauline McKinnon’s stillness meditation.

Neither of these things works overnight, but they do work. I have had times where I did not believe they were working or would work, and wanted to give up, but I kept going and I am so glad I did.
Both therapy and stillness meditation have both a flow on and cumulative effect. They really pay off in the end.

People often say you have to have the courage to face your fears.
I hate that saying as I am sure most agoraphobics do. It is not about courage, it is abut learning how to be again without fear.
Somewhere and somehow we learned how to be fearful and to respond with fear. But it is exactly that, a learnt response and you CAN unlearn it. Through stillness meditation you once again learn to get back to a more relaxed natural state of being.

One of the key things that meditation has given me, and that I use everyday is this: to notice where you are tense and let go of the gripping of the muscles. Try to notice this even when you are watching television or at any time and to just let go a little. You will be surprised at how tense you may be without even realizing it. If you make a habit of noticing this and letting the tension go, your body will gradually start to become more relaxed in general. This, along with daily meditation does really help when you become anxious or tense.

In the beginning of my agoraphobia, before I started to meditate, I somehow thought that if I were to let go of my tenseness the anxiety would get worse. That if I relaxed the anxiety, panic would overwhelm me. That I had to be in control…preparing myself ready to fight it. In fact the opposite is true, if you let go of the tenseness the anxiety is lessened.

I used to hear people say all of that but I did not believe them. Meditation has been a gentle way of showing me that it is in fact true. There is no need to tense up and try to fight.
Another ironic thing though is if you try to relax too hard, you will work against yourself.

I am sorry if all that does not make sense! The concept is a bit hard to explain, but if you begin meditating and if you read Pauline McKinnon’s book ‘In Stillness Conquer Fear’ you will understand better.
Pauline’s book had the best explanations of the processes of agoraphobia that I have ever read. Of course it does take time and practice but I use it all the time.

I have also said this before, but I really want those of you to know that if I who was so deep in agoraphobia and despair, can slowly work my way through it, you can too. I am not there yet, but I am getting there one success and one disappointment at a time.

Take care,
Janesse (ADAVIC Member from Sydney) - March 2010

Quote of the Day!

"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence." - Helen Keller

KINISI LIVE

KINISI LIVE has been very generous with ADAVIC by donating money over the years and providing their venue for free for our own functions.

A big thank to owner/proprietor Can Tangalakis

If you are looking for an entertaining night out with delicious Greek Cuisine and lively Greek dancing why not drop into KINISI LIVE located at 3/560 Church Street Richmond Victoria.

The newly renovated club is now open every Friday and Saturday nights.
Bookings can be made on 0438-328-016

Teardrops - Poem by Eva Savov

TEARDROPS

Teardrops.
Like precious diamonds,
We hold them inside,
And never show the pieces,
Of our broken hearts.
Instead.
We smile
And pretend
The sun is shining.
But if only
You looked closer
You will discover
The rays are hiding
Behind the clouds.

By EVA SAVOV
Copyright © 1994

Lonely Soul - Poem by Eva Savov

LONELY SOUL

Look deep inside,
Have no fear,
For you'll find the love,
You've always,
Been searching for.
There is a single magic,
That lies within your heart,
For the world always shines,
On those who know.
How to love.
Just stop,
And listen,
For your heart -
Always speaks to you.
Put aside all doubt,
And let the hope,
You have lost,
Find it's way back,
To your heart.
Let your love be seen,
Let your love be known,
For it wipes away
The tears,
Of a lonely soul.

By EVA SAVOV
Copyright © 1993

Quote of the Day!

"The greatest discovery of my generation is that a man can alter his life simply by altering his attitude of mind." - William James

Lecture on School Bullying 17th February 2011

The Anxiety Disorders Association of Victoria Presents
Empowering your child to deal with School Bullying
A Lecture with Evelyn Field, Clinical Psychologist & Author

Overview:
Most children are bullied, bully others or witness bullying at school. Thus bullying is a huge problem for schools, teachers, parents and students. The core of Evelyn’s work is her Social Survival Skills model which teaches students simple techniques to block bullying behaviours. Areas covered:

Bullying Blocking at School
- Description and causes
- Injuries (short and long term)
- Legal implications
Role of parents and the community
Role of the School
- Whole school approach
- Prevention, protocols and procedures
- Training programs
- Crisis intervention procedures & disciplinary action
- Developing options
- Role of bystanders and teachers.

‘Bully Blocking’ skills for targets, bullies, peers and adults
1. Regulate your Feelings – stress and anger management
2. Understand the Reasons – to understand and regain power
3. Build Self-esteem – survive and thrive
4. Utilise Effective Communication Skills – verbal and nonverbal
5. Build a Power Pack – deal with teasing and other difficult encounters
6. Develop a Support Network – improve social connections and friendships

Evelyn M. Field FAPS,is a practising counselling psychologist. She has been appointed a Fellow of the Australian Psychological Society and is one of their media spokespersons. She has done over 800 media interviews on a wide range of topics, appearing on the "Today show", "Good Morning Australia", "A Current Affair", "Seven thirty Report", "Today Tonight Show", Channel Seven News. She spent time as Resident Psychologist for Channel Ten's "9 AM" show with David and Kim.

She was an Accredited Speaking Member of National Speakers Association of Australia and has spoken in New Zealand, Belgium, Spain, USA, Vietnam and Israel. She gives regular keynotes and workshops to schools, organizations and therapists.

Evelyn speaks to organizations about managing workplace bullying and to schools about school bullying, helping students build their emotional and social resilience, bully blocking skills for kids and parenting skills.

Thursday 17th February 2011
7.30pm-9.00pm
Kingston City Hall (Function Room B)
985 Nepean Hwy, Moorabbin VIC

Cost:
$10.00 ADAVIC members
$20.00 Non-Members

Bookings:
Phone: ADAVIC (03) 9853 8089
Email: adavic@adavic.org.au
Website: http://www.adavic.org.au/

Proceeds from this event help to maintain ADAVIC services
BOOKINGS ESSENTIAL! Monies non refundable
Note: a $2 surcharge fee will apply to invoices

Bookings can be made direct online at this link:
http://www.adavic.org.au/product-view.aspx?Id=92

Quote of the Day

"The best way to predict your future is to create it." - Anon.

ALCOHOL AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE WILL NOT TAKE AWAY YOUR FEARS

Your fears, anxieties, and other problems have the best of you and you don’t know where to turn for help. At some point you feel totally helpless as you struggle each day. No matter what you do, you cannot run away or hide from your fears. In these cases, some people will use alcohol or other substances to feel better.

Alcohol and substance abuse or any other addictions will not take away your problems and fears. In the short run, they might make you feel better, but in the long run these addictions will only make things worse.

So what do you do to make your problems and fears go away? Well, since you can’t run away from them, then the best solution is to tackle your fears head on no matter how strong they may be. The key is to be smart in how you try to manage these fears. Here are some ways in how to manage your persistent fears and anxieties.

The first step is to learn to take it one day at a time. Instead of worrying about how you will get through the rest of the week or coming month, try to focus on today. Each day can provide us with different opportunities to learn new things and that includes learning how to deal with your problems. Focus on the present and stop trying to predict what may happen next week. Next week will take care of itself.

Remember that no one can predict the future with one hundred percent certainty. Even if the thing that you feared does happen there are circumstances and factors that you can’t predict which can be used to your advantage. For instance, let’s say at your place of work that you miss the deadline for a project you have been working on for the last few months. Everything you feared is coming true. Suddenly, your boss comes to your office and tells you that the deadline is extended and that he forgot to tell you the day before. This unknown factor changes everything. Remember: we may be ninety-nine percent correct in predicting the future, but all it takes is for that one percent to make a world of difference.

Another technique that is very helpful is to have a small notebook of positive statements that makes you feel good. Whenever you come across an affirmation that makes you feel good, write it down in a small notebook that you can carry around with you in your pocket. Whenever you feel depressed or frustrated, open up your small notebook and read those statements. This will help to manage your negative thinking.
Be smart in how you deal with your fears and anxieties. Do not try to tackle everything all at once. When facing a current or upcoming task that overwhelms you with a lot of anxiety, break the task into a series of smaller steps. Completing these smaller tasks one at a time will make the stress more manageable and increases your chances of success.

The important thing is to get the proper help by seeing a professional. Avoiding your problem through the use of alcohol or other substances will do nothing in the long run in fixing your problems. It will just make things worse. Managing your fear and anxieties will take some hard work. Be patient, persistent and stay committed in trying to solve your problem.

BIOGRAPHY:
Stan Popovich is the author of "A Layman's Guide to Managing Fear
Using Psychology, Christianity and Non Resistant Methods" -
an easy to read book that presents a general overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties.
For additional information go to: http://www.managingfear.com/

By: Stanley Popovich

Anxious but Safe by Joe Bolza

“Anxious but Safe” by Joe Bolza, Clinical Psychologist
(now retired) PADA

Anxiety can make its presence felt under several very different situations. When the anxiety system is activated, it can feel much the same, regardless of the cause or validity of anxiety. Usually we get an automatic sense of danger when we are anxious, however, depending on the situation, we may actually be quite safe. Sorting out our actual level of safety is vital. We too often “listen to our anxious feelings” and act as if they were accurate signals of danger, without checking out if they are “on track”.

The most obvious anxiety provoking situation is when there is a clear and current danger. Typical examples are being physically attacked, being actually threatened with punishment, when we see someone (for example a child) exposing themselves to danger (crossing a busy road without looking).

The second is when learning and memory are involved. An actual danger, or a “felt” danger has occurred in the past. Memory stores the experience, including the situation and the feeling. When you find yourself in a similar situation in the future, the memory can activate the anxiety system, putting you “on guard”. The situation often just has to have some similarity. It doesn’t have to be identical. We may not even be aware why we are anxious under these conditions. There may also not be a current danger, as the situation is not identical enough. For example, we may in the past have been attacked by a swooping magpie. We may then get anxious in the presence of similar sized birds, even though they are different kinds of birds, and in fact harmless.

The third is the least understood. It includes “out of the blue” panic attacks and periods of anxiety states. Many of these have a physiological cause, such as hormonal changes (often around menopause, prior to periods, pregnancy, post natal), blood sugar changes, hyperventilation, medication or withdrawal from medication, many street drugs, etc. Usually, the experience is best seen as a “false alarm”, meaning that we have become agitated because a physiological change has been misinterpreted by our nervous system as “cause for alarm”. As a false alarm, we need to see that any alarming thoughts or conclusion we might have are also “false”. That then means we are likely to be safe.

Change in itself can sometimes trigger the anxiety system, putting you in a physiological state of readiness in case the new situation may pose difficulties or dangers. We often confuse “might be a problem”, with “is a problem”, especially when we are highly anxious. We need to use other objective methods of assessing actual problems, such as our “eyes and ears”, rather than our potentially misleading anxiety. Change in fact could be quite safe.

We are biologically primed to be somewhat anxious in many social situations, even if there is no actual physical danger. Our nervous system responds to having eyes looking at us, so it is normal to be revved up if we are the focus of attention. The larger the “audience”, or the more power it has to criticize, or judge, the more anxious we are likely to become. This can be minimised by lots of practise involving positive experiences, but most people are likely to have their anxiety system “on guard” to some degree. This is an important lesson in helping people with social phobia, who find it embarrassing and shameful to have anxiety symptoms in social situations.

Finally, most people are aware of how we can “talk ourselves into feeling anxious”. Even if we are feeling initially quite comfortable, if we start thinking too many “what ifs” about some situation, the anxiety system starts engaging, to prepare us “better” in case the “what ifs” start to materialize. As we start to get anxious, it appears to validate our growing sense of danger, which then increases our anxiety. Before we know it, we can build a five star Hollywood drama and believe in it. Meanwhile, the situation we are in could be quite harmless, and none of our anxious predictions come to pass.

Overall the main point is that when anxiety surfaces, for whatever reason, it is only our personal warning system saying there might be some danger. It doesn’t in fact mean there is danger. We could be “anxious but safe”.

Re-printed with permission by Joe Bolza

Break the stress cycle…

Tension, anxiety, headaches, indigestion, loss of energy and libido are just some of the possible symptoms of stress overload. Learn to recognize the physical and mental signs, and do something about the situation now. Knowing when to put on the brakes and give yourself a break is the first step to beating stress.

From the Little Book of Energy

Carrot and Banana Cake

1 ¼ cups plain flour
½ cup self-raising flour
1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
1 teaspoon mixed spice
½ teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 cup (200g) firmly packed brown sugar
¾ cup (90g) coarsely chopped walnuts or pecans
3 eggs, lightly beaten
2 cups finely grated carrot (about 4 medium carrots)
1 cup mashed banana (about 2 large overripe bananas)
1 cup (250ml) vegetable oil

Preheat oven to moderately slow (160oC). Grease a 24cm springform tin, line base with baking paper.
Sift flours, soda, spices and sugar into large bowl, stir in remaining ingredients; pour cake mixture into prepared tin. Bake in moderately slow oven about 1 ¼ hours. Cool cake in tin.

By Lani

Noodle Salad

100g rice vermicelli noodles
200g snow peas
1 carrot, peeled and shredded
½ cup mint leaves, chopped
¼ cup chopped unsalted peanuts
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons lemon juice

Place the noodles in a bowl of bowling water and allow to stand for 3 minutes. Drain and set aside. Cook the snow peas in a saucepan of boiling water for 1 minute. Drain and cool under running water. Shred the snow peas then combine with the noodles, carrot, mint, peanuts, soy sauce and lemon juice.

By Lani

Red Lentil Pilau

3 tablespoons oil
1 onion, copped
3 cloves garlic, chopped
3 teaspoons garam masala
1 cup basmati rice
1 cup red lentils
3 cups hot vegetable stock
Spring onions, thinly sliced

Heat the oil in a large saucepan. Add the onion, garlic and garam masala. Cook over medium heat for 3 minutes, or until soft.

Stir in the rice and lentils and cook for 2 minutes. Add the hot stock and stir well. Slowly bring to the boil, then reduce the heat and simmer, covered, for 15-20 minutes, or until the rice is cooked and all the stock has been absorbed. Gently fluff the rice with a fork. Garnish with spring onion

Quote of the Day!

"The roots of true achievement lie in the will to become the best that you can become." - Harold Taylor

DALAI LAMA—QUOTES

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions”.

“My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness”.

“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them”.

“The roots of all goodness lie in the soil of appreciation for goodness”.

Stress management tips

The first step is to become conscious of the warning signals your body and soul are sending you. Become aware of the unreasonable demands we often make on ourselves. We need to increase our self-awareness and become more observant of our reactions to stress. The second step is action. Now we’re talking stress management, building up power and energy, and dealing with what doesn’t feel right in our lives.

Is it difficult for you to find your way out of stress? This advice may help:

Practice relaxation

Relaxation will help you find your inner balance. It will be easier for you to hear all the messages your body is trying to send, and you will find that you become more in touch with your spiritual and emotional self.

Do something different

Only you can change your life. If you do what you’ve always done, you will get the results you always have gotten. If what you are doing isn’t giving you the results you want, it is time to do something different. See the connection between what you are doing and what you get in return and take full responsibility for the improvements that need to be made.

Listen to your body

Become conscious of the warning signals your body and soul are sending. Increase your degree of self-awareness and become more observant of your reactions to stress. When you don’t feel good, there is always a reason. Take pain seriously. Are you often tired, irritated, bothered by aches and pains? This could be your body’s way of telling you that you need to slow down, take some time off, or deal with whatever’s bothering you.

More fun

Move yourself up on your list of priorities. For some people, easing stress can be achieved simply by allowing themselves to accomplish a little less here and there. Others need to eliminate entirely certain parts of their lives. But don’t cut back on the things you enjoy, don’t cut back on the fun things in life that make you happy.

Live a healthier life

Regular exercise, proper diet, and enough sleep are necessary ingredients for keeping your body in trim. Make sure you get enough sleep. Lack of sleep is one of the major reasons people feel stressed. Start to exercise regularly. If you have a job where you sit still a lot then physical activity will be even more important.

Observe your thoughts

Practice positive thinking, look for possibilities and stop the re-runs of the unreasonable demands you didn’t live up to or any other things you blame yourself for, or beat yourself up about. Negative thoughts lower your achievement level and increase stress; positive thoughts have the opposite effect.

Use the word "no"

Learn to say no to the things you don’t want to do, can’t manage to do, or simply don’t feel like doing. Learn to recognize your own limits. Don’t take on more than you can handle. Take a moment’s time-out, go off to the side, and ask for some time before you give an answer - very few things need to be done, or answered, immediately. Be bold enough to ask for help, and to delegate to others that which needs to be done. You do not need to do everything yourself.

Plan and prioritize

Plan your time. Learn to prioritize. Decide what jobs are more important than others. Do not procrastinate. Write down what you’re going to do so you don’t get stressed by forgetting something. Do one thing at a time.

Laughs is health

Develop your sense of humor. See to it that you get a few good laughs every single day. By laughing we often get a new perspective on the problems that cause stress. See yourself in that humoristic light.

Friends are important

Take good care of your friendships, they are very important. We all need friends we can discuss our worries and problems, as well as share our joys with. Talk to someone you trust about the things you experience as stressful or draining.

Change your attitude

Realize that stress is not caused by the problems themselves. It is your attitude, your interpretation of what is happening that is the answer to the question of whether you will become stressed or not. Dare to change the things that can be changed. Accept that which cannot be changed. Either change the situation or change your attitude about it.

Time of your own

Make sure you take a moment for yourself every day. Time for yourself is not something you get; it’s something you have to create yourself. Prioritizing your time is a choice, and just like all the other choices you make in your life, you are solely responsible. Enough time to yourself is one of the many roads leading to a better and more enjoyable life.

Plan time for rest and recreation

Plan pauses in your life. Find your own ways to relax, to rest, and to recharge. You might take a walk, read a book, take a bike ride, listen to music, go to a movie, or do something else nice that you thought you’d do someday, that you really could do right now.

Solve your conflicts

Unsolved conflicts that just lie there gnawing away at you use up enormous amounts of energy. Realize that you are wonderful, just as you are. Be as tolerant with yourself as you are with everybody else.

http://www.lifesdriverslicense.com/en/
Re-printed with permission from Eva Johansson

Quote of the Day!!!

"The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love and something to hope for." - Joseph Addison

Donation from KINISI LIVE

A big THANK YOU to KINISI LIVE for donating $400.00 towards ADAVIC's January rent - if you are looking for an entertaining night out with delicious Greek Cuisine and lively Greek dancing why not drop into KINISI LIVE located at 3/560 Church Street Richmond Victoria. The newly renovated club is now open every Friday and Saturday nights.
Bookings can be made on 0438-328-016

Causes of stress

Three causes of negative stress are lack of control, lack of support from people around you, and lack of meaning in what you are doing. A lot of people try to fill up the emptiness they feel in their lives with more and more work.

Studies have shown that stress is not dangerous, as long as the affected person feels that he or she is able to change the situation, that is, that he or she has a certain amount of control over what is happening.

Stress reactions
Stress is the body’s reaction to every demand made on it and is therefore something completely necessary and natural. We react differently to these demands. A stress reaction can cause us to feel everything from hopelessness to rage. Feelings of impatience, anguish, boredom and frustration can also be part of the stress experience. Outwardly, our reactions are noticeable when we unconsciously tense up our shoulders, furrow our brow or bite our teeth together. Or we might get a lump in our throat, a knot in our stomach, a stiff neck or feel pressure over our chest.

Fight or run
What happens in the body during these reactions happened also millions of years ago in our human-like ancestors. At that time, these reactions were quite adequate. Survival was dependent upon the ability to swiftly and powerfully react to danger. They prepared the body for battle, or for escape. This was the body’s way of producing that extra power necessary for us to be able to choose survival instead of death. Physical stress reactions made us stronger and more resilient in battle, or faster and more tenacious in flight.

Our alarm system is on
Today, most of us are rarely exposed to tangible physical danger. Yet the alarm system is more active than ever before. Our brains cannot tell the difference between real and imagined dangers. The alarm system is activated even by emotional distress, such as when you feel threatened, upset, scared, embarrassed or unloved. A bad day at the office, an argument, a job interview, a painful diagnosis, or meeting an angry dog - all produce the same physiological reactions.

Totally drained instead of burned-out
Burnout is an expression we often hear today. It is a word that is often used carelessly instead of worn out, stressed, hurried, overworked, overwrought, strained, tired, depressed, angry, unappreciated or unloved. A better expression to describe the state is totally drained. Being "totally drained" gives us more of a feeling of hope, of eventually being refilled and healed than being "burned-out".

Being totally drained, or burned-out, is a serious psychological, physical, and mental state where we collapse, and it takes quite a lot for us to get there. It is not something that just hits us like a virus; it is something we have been working on for a long while. People who are totally drained have given so much, and been replenished so little, for such a long time, that one day the whole system just says stop.

Several stages before collapse
A person who becomes totally drained passes through several stages before the catastrophe becomes a fact. Life doesn’t suddenly one day just overwhelm you. Before that happens there have been plenty of symptoms that have been neglected.

These symptoms might be headaches, stomach problems, colds that never go away, irritation, moodiness, joylessness or depression. Long-term stress drains us of our inner resources such as creativity, patience, and sense of humour. Only if a person ignores these initial signals will the enormous, chronic, depressing fatigue, where the body collapses from total lack of resources and energy finally take over.

What people who have broken down because of stress have in common is that they all have felt a deep fatigue, and at times lost their ability to remember, understand or reason. Other symptoms may be physical, such as increased sensitivity to pain and infection. Another common result is that the person is less socially active, pulls away from friends, and isolates himself or herself.

Can be cured
Researchers are still unclear on exactly what sort of connections between mind and body lead to stress-related conditions such as burnout, fibromyalgia, posttraumatic stress, chronic fatigue and depression. But they are in agreement that these conditions can be cured.

Positive stress
Don’t fool yourself into thinking that a stressless life would be the epitome of happiness, if you do, you will have forgotten the positive side of stress.
Positive stress is vital and increases your power. It can be very intense, but is usually short-lived, such as meeting a deadline, catching a bus, or making a speech. You work best when you feel stimulated and excited, not when you are bored, or feel limited. Positive stress is the answer to demands that feel inspiring, manageable and challenging, demands that don’t feel like they have been forced on you. Positive stress makes you creative and constructive. Negative stress, on the contrary, is paralyzing and destructive.

Negative stress
Negative stress is what you feel when you are unable to fill the demands that come from inside yourself and/or the demands and expectations your environment makes on you. It is easy to feel insufficient or threatened both physically and mentally. If this is repeated often, you will eventually be affected by it negatively.

Remember that stress is not dangerous, as long as the affected person feels that he or she is able to change the situation, that is, that he or she has a certain amount of control over what is happening. Actually, both self-esteem and creativity are enhanced by challenges we have control over.

Your attitude causes stress
The ability to tell the difference between what you can control and what you cannot, and act accordingly is fundamental to stress management. Even more basic to stress management is the insight that stress is not caused by the problems in themselves. It is your attitude, your interpretation of the problem that causes stress.

Understanding that the real cause of stress is not disappointment, fear, negative expectations, or the people around you but your own attitude toward these things makes it easier to control your reaction to the perceived stress.

Take control
You need to either actively work toward changing the situation or decide to change your attitude toward it. It is when we feel "I choose my life" that we are the drivers on the journey through life; we have more control.
http://www.lifesdriverslicense.com/en/
Re-printed with permission from Eva Johansson

How I Calm Down...by Jess

I just thought I'd share with you some of the ways I choose to calm myself down if I can feel my mind is racing with worry. To be honest, it depends upon how bad it is and the circumstances it occurs in as to what I can do about it.

The funny thing is I know what techniques there are to control my thoughts and I have learnt a lot about anxiety from the courses I have attended, books I've read and research I have done. But all that aside I think the hardest thing, when you are despairing is to actually focus upon realistically changing your thoughts. For me sometimes it works, and other times I have to stop and do something entirely different.

For me there is nothing better than getting involved in a good book. I love reading and think that over the years I have also used it unconsciously as a way to give me a break from the way I am feeling. I'm not saying its good to ignore your feelings but if you go back to them later with a fresh mind often you can think through things more clearly. I know reading is not enjoyed by everyone but I think that if you can find the right book on a topic you are really interested in, it is a great way to relax.

I also enjoy listening to music, and I really focus upon the lyrics to take my mind off worrying. I have a weird talent of being able to recite song words from a huge range of music which impresses and maybe scares my friends slightly. The only unfortunate thing about this however is that I really cannot sing. So one day if a job is invented where you can make money by reciting song words but not actually singing them, well that would be the perfect job for me.

Another way I can really leave my anxieties behind is to spend time with an animal/animals. Growing up I spent a lot of time talking to my dog and cat when I felt sad and alone. I appreciate the way animals seem to respond and understand human suffering even though they can't speak. There are studies that have shown a decrease in anxiety levels when interacting with and patting a pet.

When I first got sick I hardly used to sleep, and the psychologist I saw at the time said that it was better to distract myself by getting out of bed and reading or watching TV. I couldn't focus on reading at the time, as my thoughts were all over the place, but I became good at watching infomercials that were on in the early hours of the morning!( I was almost brainwashed into thinking that the 5 in 1 food chopper/dicer was an excellent bargain!!). I think her point was that it is better to stop or distract the thoughts by getting out of bed and doing something else (however mundane) to curb the anxiety. Even if it meant lack of sleep, it was doing me more harm than good staying in bed worrying.

I hope this might be of some help to others.

WORKING WITH IT - Getting Onto The Path of Freedom by Helen O'Connor

When Anna asked me to write an article about my participation in Bev's course, I jumped at the opportunity because, even though I am scared and worried about what people may think of my writing, I love to challenge myself in overcoming my anxiety. That's how it has been for me, probably I suspect because my Dad taught me to swim by dropping me in the ocean near him and saying "Swim!" Feel the fear and do it anyway! "Shock, horror", I hear you say, but don't worry, he did the best he could with what he knew as most parents do and all is forgiven on that front.

So why did I do the course? I enrolled in Bev's "Working With IT" course as another series of panic attacks had me by the neck. I have suffered these horrid episodes for perhaps the last fifteen or more years. No need to tell you about it because you all know what it is like.

I walked into the small church hall on the first night, feeling nervous but knowing I was going to learn something. I have participated in many self-development seminars and groups and love to experience those breakthroughs inherent in these sessions. I teach workshops myself and believe that we all have something to contribute.

The best thing that came out of the first evening for me was "Why WOULDN'T I have anxiety?" What a relief! I was the classic "good girl", I'd had "stuff" from my childhood to deal with, I was a control freak and needed to have things just right and I was a walking, talking "I'm right" machine! I came home that night eager to do the homework and to get into it. I began the monitoring of my anxiety every two hours for the first week and within a couple of days realised that I had a time issue. If I ever need to have the children somewhere on time, I stress out and tell myself that there won't be enough time to get everything done. Bingo! I noticed this to be a pattern in my life, getting myself all worked up when people were coming or things needed to be done. Once I realised this and surrendered to the moment I was able to achieve so much more than before. As soon as we can get a handle on the idea that our thoughts create our reality, we can catch ourselves when we are in our doom and gloom self-talk. Wonderful!

The next great insight was the idea that Emotions can be interpreted as Energy - in - Motion. Being an energy worker myself, this one was easy to understand. When you begin to panic, do you notice that you tell yourself stuff like, "oh, no, here it comes again", "here we go again" or something like "it's back...aagghh!" or other such resisting notions? If we can see that this fear is natural and not resist it, we can allow it to just move through us. I've tried this every time since the course. The first time was in the supermarket when I felt that unreal feeling which usually heralds some panic. I held on to the trolley, remembered that the feeling was "energy in motion" and just allowed it to pass through me. I reckon it lasted less than half a minute and then it was gone. I was triumphant! Nearly told the person next to me at the margarine fridge.

What else impacted on me? Oh yes, Bev helped us to get in touch with our "IT" (the fear/panic/anxiety) and treat it like a naughty child. She took us into a process to ask our IT what it needed. I had the realisation that my "little girl" (inner child) had never learnt HOW to love. We all crave to love and be loved. How could I do that if I was never taught? So I thought, "I need to have a love affair with myself". That week, I bought beautiful tulips, not just a cheap bunch of flowers for myself, but the best. I bought a beautiful card and spent lots of money on some gorgeous lingerie! I deserve the best and who can give that to me? MYSELF!!

These are the great things that happened for me by participating in Bev's course. Others will have their stories of what was important to them. I'd recommend the course. The people were just like you and me, the music and meditations were lovely, the environment was made safe and nurturing and I am more able to manage my anxiety and help others who come to me for help.

Thank you Bev, and to Anna and ADAVIC for all your committed hard work. P.S. As I write this, I'm sitting in a booth on my own in a warm, local pub sipping a glass of red and not worrying about being alone here or people looking at me. Good, eh?......) by Helen O'Connor

Helen has been a teacher in Special Education, and for the past twelve years, a practitioner and teacher of Reiki, a natural healing method. Helen runs her home-based business, The Reiki Cottage in Preston while mothering two primary school aged children. She can be contacted on 9484 7276

By Helen O’Connor

MY JOURNEY THROUGH AGORAPHOBIA by Janesse – December 2009

Part Five

Hi Everyone,

It is hard to believe that Christmas has come around again so soon!
(sorry we should have posted this before Christmas)

As some of you know from my writings, this is not my favourite time of year.
For me, as for many it is a sad time of year.

The enforced ‘jolliness’ that seems to be everywhere at this time just makes any feelings of sadness, loss and loneliness so much worse. Then you can feel almost guilty for not getting into the so called “Christmas Spirit”. I have mentioned before that at some Christmas’s I tried to force myself to get into the Christmas Spirit which only made me feel worse. Now what I do is to tell myself it is ok to allow my feelings of sadness, loss and loneliness to be there. I try to sit quietly with them for a little while and cry if I need to. I also try to remember that I am not alone in these feelings. Many people feel the same way and it is ok. Then I try to get on with my day, whatever that entails.

Since my agoraphobia I have often been alone on Christmas Day as I was unable to leave the house to join my partner or friends for Christmas. To be honest I never really got used to it and I didn’t like it. What helped was, as I said, allowing my feelings, and also planning something really nice for myself. Maybe having a big box of chocolates all to myself, watching a DVD, giving myself a facial or a manicure/pedicure or reading a great book.

However it is easy at this time to feel overwhelmed with those feelings of sadness and I would really urge you to talk to your therapist about things that can help at this time. Another problem at this time can be change of routine due to the holidays.
It can make us more anxious not to have that familiar routine. Friends, neighbours or family may be going away at this time, which may worry us and make us feel isolated and alone. Here we may also need some strategies for coping. Again, talk to your therapist or talk to your friends or family about how you are feeling.

Talking to your friends or family about your feelings may be difficult. I was very embarrassed and ashamed to admit those feelings and while now I don’t go shouting it from the rooftops I have been able to learn to not be so ashamed and to let people, where appropriate, know a little more of my feelings. It can help if you can be honest about your feelings, whether it is anxiety, sadness, loneliness or isolation. Don’t brush aside these feelings or pretend that you are ok when you are not. A great sense of relief can often be had by being true to your feelings.

I would caution though to be careful who you choose to share with. Sometimes if we express those feelings and feel like we are not being understood or acknowledged it can makes us feel even more isolated or depressed.
A trusted family member or friend is the best way to go. If they or a therapist are not available through the Christmas period I would suggest ringing Lifeline.

Another alternative can be the internet. I have some mixed feelings about the internet and online groups. They can sometimes be a useful source of support if you are feeling isolated. If you don’t belong to any online groups, have a look and see if they would be something you are comfortable with. Apart from online forums and groups dealing with depression or anxiety, there are many other groups and forums to be found on the internet no matter what your interests are.
For example, I love animals and belong to a pet forum where many things are discussed. On the forum they have an off topic section where they talk about anything at all. This can range from shopping advice to serious personal issues.
There are quite a few people on there suffering from agoraphobia, depression and other mental illnesses. Sometimes it can be effective to be an anonymous person on a forum discussing your problems with others who are coping with similar issues.

One Christmas day I went to my pet forum and there were many people on there who were alone on Christmas day and were having a discussion about their feelings. While I didn’t join in on that occasion, it really helped to know that there were people around (even if it was on an internet forum), that I could talk to if I needed too. There are groups/forums for parents, for car lovers, various sports, music, art, television, craft, fashion, weather, almost anything you can think of!!

Before I go I just wanted to update you on my journey through agoraphobia.
I continue to venture out and about. I am doing more things that I have not been able to do for a long time and I continue to work with my therapist to deal with my emotional issues that drive my agoraphobia. Often I am going two steps forward and one step back, but the important thing is I continue to go forward how ever big or small the steps may be. There are still many things I cannot do or things that I have trouble with because of my anxiety and I have days where it feels like I have made no progress at all and I feel like I will never be free of this.

It truly is up, down up down, up, down.

I am heartened by the wise words of Pauline McKinnon in her book “In Stillness Conquer Fear”.

“...we exist in order to grow. Our very existence is imperfect too, and the fact that anxiety is present sometimes only indicates a stepping stone to further fulfilment. With the practice of stillness, we can move firmly from that stepping stone to the next stage of development…

So if at times you seem to go backwards a little, remember that this is only temporary, like a crack in a healing wound… When you wake each morning, give thanks for this day with the promise it holds. Recall regularly, with interest and affection, all the events and those people who have touched your life… Look forward to all that is still to come. And each evening, as you drift into sleep, gently bring to mind at least one good moment from the day that’s just passed. That keeps hope alive.” (p. 171)

To me there could be no better Christmas message.

My wish for anyone struggling with anxiety is for everyone to feel that spirit of hope.

All of my love,

Janesse – December 2009

Learning to Embrace my Anxiety by Jess

As an Anxiety sufferer I know that I tend to have a slightly different outlook on life than a lot of people who do not know what it is like to be plagued by excessive worry and self doubt.

I find it very easy to remember unpleasant memories and let the good ones slide to the back of my brain storage cabinet (the one that I have misplaced the key to). Sometimes it seems like such an effort to remember that life can be good, it’s just my anxiety being a pain in the ass and discolouring all of my happy thoughts.

I want to tell you a bit about myself and how I got to the place I am today.
Learning to love myself and gaining my own sense of self worth is one of the hardest things to do, (and to be honest with you I don't know if I'm really there yet) because it includes loving the anxiety, and the lessons you have learnt from having anxiety.

In reality, anxiety is an important part of our lives. It is essential that it occurs in times of danger. Anxiety is also quite normal when we are concerned about something or someone we love. It is there for a good reason and it just happens to be working overtime in people with an anxiety disorder.

My realisation that I had anxiety and depression began about 3 years ago. Looking back I think it had been gradually building up since childhood. I was living in Brisbane with my partner and had a full time job in Administration which I didn't enjoy.

I eventually got to the point where I knew something was very wrong when my daily pattern of staying awake at night worrying about what the next day at work would bring, dry retching in the toilet for 15 minutes before I had to catch the train, and being unable to eat until lunchtime seemed like it was controlling my life. Once I got to work I would pretend that every thing was fine. I would be given projects to work on and although I would do a good job, I would agonize over the finished project being good enough and constantly think “oh no, what will they think of me.....”

Walking to work one day I had a terrifying panic attack.

I think it was my body's way of saying WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO ME??????
And being the stubborn person that I can be (funnily enough it’s usually about my health or admitting I'm wrong), it wasn't until I was diagnosed with Generalised Panic Disorder that it finally hit me that something was wrong, very wrong. With this came the emotion of shame, but a private sense of relief...that my deep down private suspicions were true.

There was a reason that often I had trouble switching off my racing thoughts! And not everyone would rehearse in their head what they had said or done for the day and analyze it for potential offences that people might take from what I said, or what they could possibly be saying about me now!!

Growing up I was frequently told that I was too sensitive, too nice, worried too much. I think I was also a kind listener to friends and family, but found it extremely hard to really open up about how bad I felt. Although I had and still have lots of friends, I hid a lot from them, and most of them still don't know that I have anxiety and have suffered from depression that left me housebound and suicidal.... but that’s something else I'm working on. It has made it easier for me to hide because a lot of my friends are overseas or living in New Zealand.

I'm tired of pretending that I don't have a Mental Illness, and even typing it out now is a huge step for me. I'm tired of being ashamed, because society in general is fed incorrect images from the Media about people suffering from Mental Illness. We need to get it out there in the public eye that its ok to have Anxiety or any other kind of mental illness, and that us sufferers need as much kindness and understanding as someone may get if they have a “socially acceptable” disease. Why is it ok that if you have Diabetes or Cancer you are supported and helped and yet if you have Anxiety or Depression you can often go to the doctor and be prescribed antidepressants and be sent on your way. If one in four people (it is estimated) suffer or will suffer some kind of mental illness then we all need to be educated about mental health because it is very likely that we or someone we know are going to need support and understanding at some stage in our lives.

If you think I sound angry in writing this, well I am. I have been told to try yoga and sent on my way, prescribed increased and decreased dosages of antidepressants, sent to psychiatrists that seemed so desensitized by years in their profession that I was just another case to them, not a real person.

However I am where I am today thanks to the loving support of my partner and doctors that took the time to really listen and psychologists that also taught me how to relax. But really the most important thing I did was educate myself about anxiety and take time out to attend some wonderful courses that put me in contact with other suffers and made me realize that I'm not alone.

I had to realise that to begin my recovery I had to really want to get better and ultimately only I had the power to control my thoughts and actions. I had to make peace with my anxiety and know that it doesn't make me any less of a person. In fact I think it has made me a better person.

I think reaching out to someone that is experiencing mental illness is one of the best things you can do.

Through my time here at ADAVIC I intend to do exactly that.

My own pain and experiences are what make me who I am today, and for me to bring some positive meaning to them, I need to share them. Even if my story helps just one person, it will be worth it.

By Jess

In 2006 Jess volunteered at ADAVIC – she started as an office volunteer and then also facilitated a Northern Suburbs Anxiety Group.

Quote of the Day!

"Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use." - Earl Nightingale

Donation from KINISI LIVE

A big THANK YOU to KINISI LIVE for donating $400.00 towards ADAVIC's January rent - if you are looking for an entertaining night out with delicious Greek Cuisine and lively Greek dancing why not drop into KINISI LIVE located at 3/560 Church Street Richmond Victoria. The newly renovated club is now open every Friday and Saturday nights.
Bookings can be made on 0438-328-016

From agoraphobia to India – 30-something years down the track …

Did I ever imagine – when anxiety was a constant presence in my life that one day travel would become desirable, exciting and definitely something to enjoy? In those oppressive anxious years, getting to the letter-box, and then the local shop and then the kids’ primary school were the progressive steps I was able to take without extreme discomfort. Even with my sense of security enhanced by the presence of my supportive husband, those travelling tasks – and a whole lot of other ‘normal’ comings and goings too, were virtually impossible. I remember only too well my struggle to visit a shopping complex in my own city – and how detached I felt from everything around me. With a sense of unreality, intense discomfort and recurring anxiety symptoms, how can one enjoy the moment in any environment? So at that time, the mere thought of a visit to the jewel of India would not have entered my emotional horizons.

This year, 2008, I am celebrating the 25th anniversary of the first edition of my recovery story, In Stillness Conquer Fear and an incidental part of that celebration involved a memorable trip to a number of exotic places one of the highlights of which was just that – an experience of the Taj Mahal.

Over the past 25 years I have travelled quite extensively to many places, and to some parts of the world that are unusual, remote and difficult to reach. But I have never done so without the profound awareness of my earlier life limitations because of anxiety. And sometimes, in reflective moments away from home, I find myself in awe of my surroundings, not merely because of the foreign nature of those surroundings but because of the simple pleasure of feeling at ease and fully engaged in the experience.

India was a good example of this. This land of meditation and magic is not necessarily a tranquil place. Delhi alone has a population of more than 17 million people and these numbers were evident as we travelled in a less than comfortable bus to the city of Agra, where the monument stands. This journey of 200 km took 5 hours to complete! Far from being a freeway such as we know here, this was a pot-holed road filled with congested traffic of all kinds, each negotiating the other. Some vehicles were four wheeled but many were four legged or two legged including donkeys, camels, elephants or children crossing at any random place. Polluted skies and the mixed smells of curry and sewage contributed to the chaos: bells jangling, lots of ‘tooting’, screeching of brakes and of course, the babble of human voices! ‘We love noise … we love to toot the horn here’ our driver cheerfully assured us – stating the obvious. There is little by way of restful country-side to feast one’s eyes upon as almost all space is occupied in some form with a mish-mash of houses, shops, markets, palaces and acres of squalid slums tumbled together as one. Here too, was row upon row of assorted street signs in faded colours, silken saris of ruby, emerald, sapphire, turquoise and gold and, by contrast, the drab rags of the poor. As might also be expected, there’s lots of heat and dust. Hotel accommodation for Westerners is luxurious to say the least, and we were too well looked after, an unfortunate truth highlighting the extremes of poverty just nearby.

Queueing for entry to the Taj is a slow process though our group on that occasion was relatively fortunate in that we had pre-booked tickets. But we still had to be screened at the security check – women in one line, men in another, and meanwhile one had to contend with the reality of not giving to the many beggars that plead, some badly disfigured, with large, sad eyes for some kind of respite from their misery. I find this predicament difficult to accept; that we visitors can be enjoying comfort and be permitted to approach such a place of splendour amid masses of degraded humanity. And yet a kind of peacefulness is apparent. The people are either jolly or pathetically sad, emanating a kind of acceptance (or is it resignation?) to their circumstances.

And so as you can see, we gained entry to this marvel of human craftsmanship. This is a scene of world heritage status, a building of amazing architectural achievement that sits serenely against a mystical and misty sky. Commissioned in 1633 by the Emperor Shah Jahan in memory of his special wife, Mumtaz Mahal who died at age 39 after the birth of their fourteenth child, the Taj is perhaps the finest example of Mughal architecture. Glistening white and structured from pure marble cool to the touch, this beauty is adorned with messages of love. Countless carvings of calligraphy, abstracts and floral designs formed from precious and semi-precious stones are inlaid upon this monument to passion, loss and grief that took 22 years to build. What a tribute to dedication! And yet, how sad.

Lingering for a while in the gardens that surround the Taj Mahal I indulged in one of my reflective moments, pondering life; the diversity of people and culture, joy and pain, love and fear. Anxiety came to my mind and how it suffocates and thwarts so much life experience.

How necessary it was for me to find the right kind of mental rest so that calmness and strength could replace fear. And how, from that calmness and strength I was able to set about developing my-self, gradually regaining personal enjoyment and participation in life, no matter how, where, what or why.

In those moments I was reminded too, that all wonderful outcomes in life take some level of time to accomplish and that the determination to meet one’s desire or goal is of the utmost importance. So I would encourage all anxiety sufferers to continue your search for relief. May you become truly calm and begin to step forward with confidence on the road you desire – especially the one that leads you to your true self. Believe me, there are many surprises to discover once we go beyond the obstacle of fear. And lasting freedom really is possible.

By Pauline McKinnon - September 2008

To contact Pauline,
please telephone 9817 2933
or visit her website: www.lifedevelopmentcentre.com.au

Quote of the Day!!!

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new." - Albert Einstein

Apple Cranberry Crisp Recipe!

Ingredients
1/2 cup plain flour
1/2 cup rolled oats
1/2 cup dark brown sugar, packed
1 tsp ground cinnamon
dash salt
5 tbsp unsalted butter, room temperature
1/2 cup chopped pecans
4 x Mutsu or Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored and cut into 1/2-inch dice
1 cup fresh or frozen cranberries
1/3 cup sugar
zest and juice of 1 small orange

Method:
Preheat the oven to 325°F. Grease an 8-inch square baking dish or 6 5-ounce ramekins.

For topping, combine flour, oats, sugar, cinnamon, salt and butter in a bowl. Work together with fingertips until crumbly. Stir in nuts and set aside.

Toss the apples and cranberries with sugar, orange zest and juice. Spoon into prepared baking dish(es). Sprinkle topping evenly over the fruit. Bake until bubbly and apples are tender, about 30 minutes. Let cool slightly. Serve warm, topped with ice cream or cream, if desired.

By Janesse from Sydney

Lemon Tuna Pasta Recipe!

Ingredients (serves 4)
1 1/2 cups dried risoni pasta
300g broccoli, cut into florets
425g can tuna in springwater, drained, flaked
250g cherry tomatoes, quartered
1 medium yellow capsicum, chopped
1/2 cup chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley leaves
1/4 cup lemon juice
2 garlic cloves, crushed
100g reduced-fat ricotta cheese, crumbled

Method
Cook pasta in a large saucepan of boiling, salted water, following packet directions, until tender. Add broccoli to pan for the last 2 minutes of cooking. Drain. Rinse under cold water. Return to pan.
Add tuna, tomatoes, capsicum, parsley, lemon juice and garlic to pan. Season with salt and pepper. Toss to combine. Divide between bowls. Top with ricotta. Serve.
Note:
Try using different styles of pasta. Recipe cannot be frozen.

By Kylie from Ballarat

Advertise with ADAVIC!!!

Do you have a workshop, program, event or some news that you believe would be of interest to ADAVIC members and supporters?
ADAVIC is now providing professionals, organisations and schools the opportunity to advertise through ADAVIC – below are some of the options.

Monthly eNewsletter
Quarterly Newsletter – editions: March, June, September and December
ADAVIC website at http://www.adavic.org.au/

For further information contact us via email at adavic@adavic.org.au

Poem - My Garden

Deep inside of me there is a garden, full of many seeds. Three very special seeds have names. Those are Confidence, Calmness and Contentment.

I was born with these seeds, but when I was young the garden was not tended to, and the seeds of ugly weeds began to take over Confidence, Calmness, and Contentment. As I grew older, I thought that the weeds had taken over the garden for good, and that Confidence, Calmness, and Contentment were killed.

Gone forever.

What I didn’t know was that the little seeds, no matter how many times they were stepped on or neglected, were the strongest seeds in the garden. They were alive, only lying dormant, for many years. For when I began tending the garden myself by nurturing the seeds with love and respect that they deserved – small, yet strong, lovely sprouts began to grow.

Someday soon they will chase away the weeds and become the most beautiful flowers in my garden.

Eventually, they will drop other seeds into the fertile soil and they too will grow strong with lovely flowers, with names like Hope, Pride, Peace, and Dignity.

Nobody will be able to walk on my garden again --- I won’t let them! For I know that every human being has the right to grow a beautiful garden inside of them.

Intuition – what colour is yours?

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honours the servant and has forgotten the gift.” Albert Einstein

But is it just the gift of the special few? I don’t think so. I believe we all have a source of instinctive knowledge within us that precedes our logical and rational thinking. What’s more, I believe we can tune into it, get to recognise it more easily and then practice using it to enhance all areas of our lives.

How many times do we hear someone who’s highly successful in their field attribute their good fortune and wise decisions to their intuition? From Einstein to Oprah, many have told of how they’ve come to trust their inner guidance or gut instinct when making decisions, whether it’s in the realm of personal relationships, health; wealth; important business decisions or making life changing new discoveries. We could argue that these people have exceptional talent or extensive experience in their chosen fields and therefore it’s logical and rational that they’ve gone onto such success, but was it always so?

At some point, they were probably like everyone else, lacking in confidence and unsure that they could trust the ideas popping into their heads that just didn’t seem to make logical sense. Trusting themselves had to start somewhere. Somehow they’ve gone on to develop a deep understanding of how and when their internal GPS is communicating its message, they recognise it and act on it well before their logical mind has even caught up.

Some may even have come to this point with someone’s help. A relative, a mentor, role models or maybe even a coach. As a Life and Business Coach a great deal of my work involves helping people to build trust in themselves and their decisions and to act with confidence in their choices. I often hear things like –‘I knew it was right for me; I had such a strong feeling...’or‘ I can’t believe I didn’t follow my gut...I knew I should/ shouldn’t have started working there or gone out with him/her or invested in this or that and I still did it!’ I help people to get to know themselves more fully; to have a far more intense and accurate sense of how they operate, when their intuition is at work and when it’s not.

Wearing my other hat, as an NLP practitioner, I’m very interested in the structure of a person’s intuition, which is why I’ve named this article Intuition – what colour is yours. You may be surprised at the various ways people recognise when their inner knowing is trying to communicate with them. It could be a voice in their head; hairs standing up on the back of their neck; a sudden and inexplicable nose bleed or butterflies in their stomach. I feel mine like a rolling surge from my abdomen up to my chest and then a sense of calm silence followed by a sensation of ‘Yes!’ in my ears. I feel light and clear if my intuition is guiding me to do something and heavy and flat if the guidance is to retreat, then the word in my ears is ‘No!’ This all takes place in a nanosecond and yet it’s a defining moment and gives me the confidence to act on the thought or feeling I’ve just experienced.

If we can get a clearer sense of ‘how’ we experience it and how that experience differs from when we’re thinking rationally, then we can apply it more practically in a range of life scenarios. We give ourselves much more choice than to just operate with the analytical mind.

I became acutely aware of my unique experience of intuition fairly recently; aware enough to describe it anyhow. I’ve been acting on it for as long as I can remember. Until then I hadn’t really taken time to think about what had been happening unconsciously for my whole life.

Early last year I became swept up in an unexpected and intensely stressful family situation which, at the time, drained my every resource, mental, emotional and physical. Someone very close to me was terribly distressed, experiencing exceptional levels of anxiety and had become overwhelmed with panic and fear about life. Their sense of hope and choice had become enveloped in a heavy black fog of emotional pain and they were losing touch with the reality of life. There were, as always, many hints; many factors which lead to this anxious and disconnected state and while drifting from one expert to another to find support I began to feel quite hopeless about my ability to help. Being a professional in the field of anxiety meant nothing. I knew of many practical strategies and had amazing resources at hand due to my work as the Life Coach at a highly regarded Stress management Centre. But all this was repellent to them as they struggled to find help from someone other than me; feeling helpless and hopeless and wanting to find their own way. They seemed out of reach.

I knew this person needed to find a way to rest their mind, remove all the ‘noise’ and distractions of everyday life that stimulates the brain constantly, never allowing it to rest and regenerate. Yet things like the iPod, the computer, the mobile phone, were seemingly their only points of connection and they weren’t going to be given up easily. My way, through Stillness Meditation or other ways suggested by the many well intentioned people we saw was not welcome.

It was then, in the midst of the turmoil and trauma of fear, panic and indecision, that my intuition kicked in and I KNEW what to do. It was risky to trust it and take action but I had such an intense sense of clarity once the thought came to me that it couldn’t be wrong. It was as if time stood still and I was able to see everything clearly and with a deep sense of calm. ‘’ If you want to change people… change their environment...’’ is what one of my wisest teachers once said and his voice rang in my ears.
I found just the right words at just the right time to pose the idea and every piece of the puzzle fell into place miraculously. We were on our way to a perfect retreat in the Gold Coast Hinterland. I’d never been there or heard of it until I decided to act on my intuition and find the way to ‘change the environment.’ All the information and resources we needed came to us.

The place sounded and looked so beautiful that it couldn’t be resisted. There was no doubt or hesitation on anyone’s part. And amazingly, one of the gifts of staying there was that they asked for all electronic gadgets to be left at home! All kinds of peaceful exercise and relaxing activities were on offer. There was even belly dancing. Imagine my relief and gratitude when all the guests were kind and compassionate, listening intently and sharing words of advice and caring deeds. We were in the perfect place for recovery and it even came at a special price! I didn’t know what we’d ‘do’ when we got there but I trusted that all that was necessary was to go, follow the guidance and trust that the ‘way ’would be clear.

All I can say is how grateful I am that my intuition guided me to do what we did and that we followed the prompts. There were as many instinctive hints about what was not the right course of action in our search for guidance as there was for what was ‘right.’ Some we followed and some we may have missed. I have no regrets. The transformation that occurred in both of us as a result of this experience has been immense. By changing our physical environment we were able to bring about change in our internal environment too, our thoughts and feelings changed and hope and health returned.

It was this experience that compelled me to write this story and to put a program together that will help others to strengthen their intuitive connection. There’s a science to this and it’s an aspect of our humanity that needs further exploration. Not so I, or anyone else for that matter, can tell you what to think or what’s right for you to do. But so that you can find those answers from within your own experience and trust those answers enough to act on them with heartfelt commitment and create a life of choice and fulfilment.
By the way the colour of mine is dove grey….

By Jo-Anne Hook
Jo-Anne Hook Solutions
Life and Business Coach
Practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming
M: 0413 279 098
E: johook@optusnet.com.au