Hi my name is Anna, and I’m a 22 year old university student who has social phobia. I’m not exactly sure when this all started for me, I can remember being a happy-go-lucky child but my teenage years were pretty stressful. I remember the phobia becoming a real problem when I left high school and started Uni. I would just become absolutely terrified at the prospect of being asked questions in lectures or appearing strange or different to everyone else in my classes. I was really frightened that I would embarrass myself by saying something or doing something stupid and that everyone would laugh at me. It really affected my studies, I found it hard to go to my lectures and if I did go I would end up panicking and have to sneak out of the room. I would always sit at the back close to the exit so that I could just slink out when it all became too much. I worried that the lecturers thought that I was lazy or unable to do the work, and that my classmates would just think that I was weird, and that made my anxiety worse. I also found social situations extremely difficult, especially large groups, and at my age that’s something that is really hard to deal with and explain to others. When the anxiety hit I felt like I had no control over myself, I would shake, my heart would pound, and then there’s the sweating and feeling of hot then cold. I would become short of breath and my chest would tighten. So many times I was convinced I would die, or that I had contracted a horrible disease. I finally decided to look for help and that’s when I found PADA. I had a talk with them over the phone and they made me feel very comfortable. I attended an info session with my best friend in town and then we decided to attend a weekend workshop together. I was terrified and I was getting all of those horrible feelings, but I was determined to get some help. I found both the info session and the workshop very helpful, and I was so relieved to find that there were others who felt the same as me. I am now working through this with my psychologist and things are better. I’m back at Uni on a part time basis. Some days are still really hard. Especially when I see others sitting around chatting and socializing in the cafeteria, and I hear people talk about what a fantastic night out they had. It still makes me sad sometimes, but I’m lucky I have a couple of very supportive friends who are always around to lend a hand, and Mum seems to be a bit more understanding these days.
One day that will be me chatting and laughing with a big group of friends planning our next night out. I have faith in myself and the determination to continue on this journey however long and winding it may be.
You should join me!
Re-printed with permission from The Panic Anxiety Disorder Association (South Australia)
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