MY JOURNEY THROUGH AGORAPHOBIA by Janesse – December 2007

MY JOURNEY THROUGH AGORAPHOBIA by Janesse – December 2007
Part Three

Hi everyone,

Well it is that time of year again isn’t it? Love it or hate it, here it is again.

I think Christmas is a difficult time for many of us who suffer from agoraphobia, anxiety or depression. Personally I find it difficult, in many ways.

My beloved mum passed away from breast cancer over 20 years ago now, and my dear old bugger of a dad passed away almost ten years ago. As I am an only child, that leaves just me, no other real family. Christmas always seems to remind me how alone I often feel.
Agoraphobia and depression can often make us feel alone and isolated anyway, and for me Christmas just compounds that feeling. Being such a family time, it does also remind me how much I miss my Mum and Dad, the grief still seems very real on Christmas Day. I also feel extremely sad for everyone who is alone. I can’t help but think of the people who are truly all alone and lonely. I guess because I feel like that a little bit too, my heart really hurts for them.

I have seen this first hand, before my agoraphobia and before I was with my partner, I spent Christmas Day volunteering at a Christmas Lunch that was put on for people who were alone. It was a happy day in many ways but it was also sad to see how many people there are who are alone. I still wonder about some of the people I met that day and how they are.

The other issues are of course how you are going to be feeling on the day, if you feel depressed or anxious, and the days leading up to it and after it. I always worry about how I am going to cope, whatever arrangements have been made for the day.

For the last couple of years my partner has gone to his family’s house for Christmas Day. I have not been up to going there because I feel so anxious with the drive and coping with the lunch, so I stay home alone. This is difficult sometimes but at least I know my partner is coming home at the end of the day, and that does make it easier. As I said my heart goes out to those who are truly all alone.

When I am at home alone I can usually hear family celebrations of neighbours. This does make me think that everyone else in the world is with their family except for me.
Again, this for me is not just about a Christmas issue; it is an agoraphobic issue, as I could go to my partner’s family house but because of my anxiety I can’t. We did have Christmas at our house a few times and while I do prefer that, there is still the issue of coping with your anxiety and depression on the day.

I also know from speaking to other people with agoraphobia, that having to have Christmas at your house all the time can sometimes be a nuisance for the family, so that you end up feeling guilty that everyone has had to come to you.

Another problem that agoraphobics face is how to shop for Christmas if we can’t go out, we can’t buy presents. These days of course with the internet there is internet shopping which makes things easier.

I think it is not just the actual day of Christmas itself but also the whole Christmas holiday break that can make us feel more anxious or depressed. Our regular routine may be disrupted by the holidays and that can make us feel anxious. Also your therapist, family or friends that you may look to for help may go away for the holidays and that can make us feel more vulnerable to anxiety or depression as well.

So how do we cope with all of that? My best advice is to talk with your therapist about any concerns you have and they will help you put some coping strategies in place. As I have said many times here, I am not a doctor or a therapist but I have found some things that help me to cope and I am hoping they may be of help to you as well.

Planning in advance is a good idea. Give yourself plenty of time to do things and to organise things. Plan things and space them out so you give yourself time to recover from anything stressful such as shopping (that is of course if you can manage to get to the shops).
With things such as shopping for presents or food shopping, go really early in the morning as soon as the shops open. They are always less crowded then and you can shop in peace. I found my anxiety was always much less if I wasn’t trying to cope with a crowded car park or shop, as well as just the anxiety of going out.

Give yourself a break. If you are at the stage of your agoraphobia where going out over the Christmas period is just too much, then give yourself a break and shop online. There are so many shopping sites for presents and for food now you do have a lot of choice. Sure, you have to pay a delivery fee but that is worth it if you are going to be less stressed.

For a long time on Christmas Day I would not let myself be sad. I would say to myself there are so many other people worse off than you, how can you be sad? Now that may be very true, but saying that to yourself dismisses and ignores your own feelings of sadness, or loneliness. One of the biggest things I have learnt is that it is okay to feel sad or lonely.

What I used to do is try to jolly myself out of it but that never really worked. I would end up anxious because all those ignored feelings were bubbling up underneath the surface and had to come out somehow. Now what I do is I acknowledge that yes I am feeling sad and lonely today but that is okay. I accept that it is ok for me to feel that way. So I try to sit with it for a little while, and then go about the rest of my day. It seems to work for me.
Then I make sure that I have something nice planned for myself. Whether it is treating myself to a few nice chocolates, or reading a good book, or watching a favorite DVD, or all three!
I really think it is important to do something really nice for yourself whatever that may be. Have it planned in advance so you can look forward to it.

The other thing I think is important is to have some sort of back up plan. If you know some of your friends and family will be away, have other people that you can call if possible. If you find it hard to find people there is always Lifeline you can call. If you have a computer there are also chat rooms or forums that you can go on to talk to people if you feel the need. Use whatever support makes you feel more secure at this time.

If you have friends and family around at this time, enlist their support if you need it. Ask them over for a cuppa and chat, or talk to them on the phone if you can. It doesn’t have to be a long visit or phone conversation, just something to get you out of your own head even for 15 minutes can be good.

I know I seem to mention this every time I write but it is because I really believe in it! I am talking about meditation. It has made a huge difference in my anxiety levels. I cannot stress enough how beneficial it has been to me. In fact if you want to do something really nice for yourself buy a copy of Pauline McKinnon’s Stillness Meditation CD and start listening.

If you have a lot of time on your hands over the holidays and are worried how to fill in the time, again plan ahead. Have a little project or projects to do. Whether it is going through old photos and arranging them in new and pretty albums, revamping your closet, re-doing a room, painting, re-decorating, planting a herb garden or flowers, craft projects, etc.

Another issue that can arise for many of us is a sort of feeling of defeat that another whole year has gone by and we are still agoraphobic, or anxious, or that nothing has really changed. I know I can feel that way. When I feel like that I have to remind myself that change has happened, that every step no matter how small, counts.

For those of you who are feeling stressed, anxious or dreading Christmas, please remember you are not alone. There are many of us out here feeling the same way.
The best Christmas present for you is this: be kind to yourself.

I wish everyone peace and safety over the holidays,

Love Janesse (ADAVIC Member from Sydney) —December 2007.

My life with pets by Kylie

My life with pets
By Kylie

LIFE can be very complex to those around us that don’t understand anxiety or mental health related issues. It can be a lonely time too especially when you feel no one understands your emotions or the battle you are fighting from within.

This is where I have found strength in animals and the important role they have in my life. You only have to read or hear about animals being use in therapy or visiting the elderly in nursing homes to bring them a sense of well being.

I don’t really know how my mental health and anxiety issues started but they have been with me since my childhood. My childhood wasn’t a happy one and even when I was a little I remember trying to bond with animals. I have to admit that I found it hard to have animals in my life when I was younger. To me they were a sense of comfort but when that comfort was no longer there I would cling to other things and forget the role those animals or pets had in my life. I realise now that I am a lot older the wonderful journey that pets can have in your life. I currently have a guinea pig named Mia and a cockatiel (bird) named Bailey. My mum also has two budgies that keep her active and I must admit at times you feel like telling all the birds to be quiet but in a funny sort of way. To me having pets are like having children and I tend to spoil them at times but I love them and couldn’t imagine it any other way even though they don’t always use the gifts or treats I give them.

My point in writing this article is to let others know that pets can bring you so much for little in return. If you have never had a pet, start from small. Maybe a fish or even an insect nothing wrong with bringing nature into your home. My pets seem to pick up on days when things don’t go my way or when I just don’t feel like it today they get me going in the morning and make that frown into a smile on my face. I rent with my mum so owning pets can be a hassle when renting. But we keep our place clean and what others don’t know won’t hurt them. I feel pets are like us. We share so many similar emotions and feelings. I hope my piece gives some of you courage to keep fighting the battles we all have from within and that you are able to get some strength.
God bless you all.
Kylie

Health Tips - Internet Addiction!!!

WEB PSYCHOLOGIST - HEALTH TIPS

By Sally-Anne McCormack
Dip T (Psych Maj); Postgrad Dip Psych (Ed); B Ed; M Psych (Ed & Dev)
Clinical Psychologist M.A.P.S.

Internet Addiction

When you just read this heading, what were you thinking? Did it ring any bells for you? Do you think that you (or someone close to you) may be addicted?

Computers are a part of our everyday lives. Right now, I am writing this article on my computer, while watching a television show on my second screen, and surfing the internet for research to include in this article. Hmmmmm, does that mean that I am addicted?

Well, no it does not. Firstly, computers are a wonderful tool which help many of us function more efficiently than we otherwise could. For example, it would be very tiresome having to type or write this article, realise that it would be better to insert a paragraph above this one, and therefore have to ‘start again from scratch’.

I am also pleased that I can do my banking at any time of the day or night, and look up the specials at my local supermarket now to organise my shopping list for tomorrow. I can even click a couple of buttons on my computer to record the television segments I like and watch them back later.

The jury is still out as to whether there is an actual condition called “internet addiction” or “computer addiction”. However, many would argue that on the other hand there is because in some people it interferes with their daily functioning. However, there are many who argue that it is not a clinical diagnosis because a person cannot be addicted to an inanimate object. Others cynically believe that America will not allow it to be an official diagnosis because their insurance companies would likely go bankrupt having to fund treatment for this condition.

Regardless of definitions, many of us recognise that we may be spending too much time on our computers and would like some tips as to how to better manage it. So, here goes…

Tip One. Track your time online. You may not even realise how much time you are spending on your computer. Write a log when you start and when you finish each session on the computer. It would also be advisable to take note of what you are actually doing during that time (eg. Checking emails, visiting particular websites, etc.). Even better would be for you to additionally record how you are feeling at the time you start (eg. Bored, angry, anxious, etc.), and how you feel afterwards. Did your mood change? Did it meet a need for you?

Tip Two. Set time limits for yourself. Grab a timer and set yourself specific times to use the computer. For some of my clients who use the computer every waking moment, I generally set them 3 two-hour blocks to use the internet throughout the day. Some find this difficult, but any restrictions are a move forward towards more positive functioning.

Tip Three. Schedule a pleasure activity. Find an activity that is NOT technology-related to do EVERY day. Some people like to do their nails, walk the dog, or read a magazine. Put it in a diary and make sure that you actually do it! While you are engaging in this activity, you are not on the computer. AND you are developing new interests!

Tip Four. Make a deal with yourself. Make a decision to have at least one day a month that is technology free. Put it in your diary and stick to it! In addition, perhaps try to have one specific hour every day that is computer free as well! Turn off your computer (do not just leave it on standby – it means that you will be less likely to “just check” it) and put your phone aside. Get some work done during that time.
Tip Five. See your local family doctor. A recent Australian study confirms that depression and computer “addiction” go hand-in-hand. Discuss your issues with your doctor to see if there is an underlying mental health issue that may require treatment.

Now having written and read through all of the tips above, I think I could probably make some changes in my own life and take some of my own advice. However, as my parents used to say to me - don’t do as I do, do as I say!

Sally-Anne McCormack from WebPsychologist is a Melbourne clinical psychologist, media consultant, author, former teacher and a mother of 4. Her first book -“Stomp Out The ANTs” – for people with anxiety and depression was launched by ADAVIC in March 2010. Visit her websites - www.WebPsychologist.com.au , www.CyberPsych.com.au and www.ParentsOnline.com.au which offer advice, resources and FREE email newsletters.

Sally-Anne is registered as a media spokesperson with the Australian Psychological Society (A.P.S.). She is often seen on Channel 7’s “The Morning Show” and has practices in Blackburn and Burwood East, runs adult and child/teen groups for depression, anxiety and insomnia, sees individual clients. Sally-Anne also offers online counselling.
She can be contacted via email (sally-anne@optusnet.com.au) or by telephone (03) 881 22 373.

Internet Addiction!!!

INTERNET ADDICTION
A 21st Century Phenomenon

A Professional Development Workshop for Mental Health professionals.
This is an Australian Psychological Society Endorsed Activity (7 PD points)
Presented by Sally-Anne McCormack, Psychologist
on
19th November 2010
Darebin Arts & Entertainment Centre, Corner Bell Street & St. Georges Road, Preston Victoria
Cost: $200.00 for first 10 delegates and for ADAVIC Members
Full Price: $225.00

Limited to 30 Health Professionals.

For further information and to request for a registration and payment form please contact ADAVIC on (03) 9853-8089 or email them on adavic@adavic.org.au

MY JOURNEY THROUGH AGORAPHOBIA by Janesse

MY JOURNEY THROUGH AGORAPHOBIA by Janesse – September 2007
Part Two

Hi everyone,

Last time I wrote some general thoughts in regard to agoraphobia but this time I thought I would write a little bit about the treatment of agoraphobia. (I will probably get side tracked and talk about other things as well so please bear with me!)

When I say treatment I don’t mean I will be recommending treatments. I am not a therapist or a medical professional, I am just a person who has had agoraphobia for a number of years and who has tried a lot of different treatments. I have finally found one that is working for me, but that doesn’t mean it necessarily will be the right one for you or others.

Of course the hardest thing with treatment for agoraphobia is getting to the treatment. How can we get treatment if we find it difficult to leave the house? Some therapists may agree to come to your house or to do telephone sessions but there are not many who will do this. There are some online programs being run but they can also be hard to access. So there we have the first stumbling block.

The next is finding a good therapist, be it psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist or any other type of therapist or counselor.
I cannot stress enough the importance of finding a good therapist. Not only a good therapist, but one that you are totally comfortable working with. One that is suitable for you, no matter which form of treatment you choose, this is vital.

In my opinion there are very few therapists who really understand agoraphobia. They understand panic attacks, and panic disorder, but as I said in the last newsletter, I don’t feel agoraphobia can be lumped in with those disorders. Agoraphobia often has its own inherent issues that also need to be treated.

How do you find a good therapist? I wish I could tell you. Unfortunately at the moment it seems to be a trial and error process. Before I found the wonderful therapist I have now, I saw three different therapists, for over six months each. None of them were right for me. This was actually a horrible time for me; I was convinced that the problem was me, that there was something so horribly wrong with me, that I couldn’t be treated, that my agoraphobia was the worst there ever was, and that I would never get well. I was so despondent, I felt hopeless and helpless and often contemplated suicide. I had tried therapy and it hadn’t worked.

What I really wish someone had told me then and what I want to tell you now, is don’t give up after a bad experience with therapy or a therapist.
Please persist until you find a therapist you can work with. It is not you; you can be treated no matter how bad you think your condition is.
Now having said that, any form of therapy is not easy. It is hard work and I don’t want you to think I gave up on previous therapists because I thought it was too hard. I can honestly tell you that I tried my best with the other therapists. One who had been recommended to me was quite a distance from where I lived and getting to that therapy was like torture for me every week, but more often than not, I managed it. Whatever the therapist asked me to do I tried to do it, even if I often didn’t succeed, I tried. It did eventually become too much for me.

With these therapists I was having Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) which wasn’t suited to me at that time. Again, I would like to emphasise that I am not here to criticise therapists or CBT itself. If you are having CBT and it is working for you that is fantastic! Many people have had great results with CBT.

My concern is that maybe there are other people who found it wasn’t right for them and have given up on getting better. CBT seems to always be recommended for agoraphobia and as I said, I am just concerned that people think it is the only treatment out there and that if it doesn’t work for them they have no alternative.

If you use CBT, again I would stress: find a therapist you feel comfortable with. The therapists I saw that used CBT I found to be too “clinical” in their approach with me. For other people that might suit them perfectly and work really well for them. For me, at that stage of my agoraphobia I needed someone who I felt really understood me, would really listen to me and above all would be kind and gentle with me, especially in the beginning. I needed to feel that even though I had this terrible disorder of agoraphobia that I was still a decent human being, that I was still worthwhile as a person. After being agoraphobic for so long, trying therapy, trying so hard to get better and it not happening, I really didn’t believe I was a worthwhile person.

At this stage, I also felt that my partner and some of my friends were getting sick of me not getting any better and perhaps thought that I really didn’t want to get better. I felt that they thought if I really wanted to get better, I would be getting better. Ah, if only it was that easy! No matter how much our family and friends may love and care about us, agoraphobia is a very hard disorder to understand and indeed, it is often hard for them to live with as well. (This is something I would like to discuss more in the next newsletter). But having family and friends question you also makes you doubt yourself. I also felt like I was being a burden on them because as an agoraphobic you need to rely on other people for many things.

So, with feeling so bad about myself I needed a therapist who would be kind and understanding. Thank God I found her, I truly believe she has saved my life. When I was despairing at my lowest, her understanding and belief in me raised me up and helped me get through it. I have been working with her for a few years now and while I am not completely free of agoraphobia, the progress I have made is remarkable. Again I would like to stress that therapy is not easy. My therapy has been so difficult at times and there were many times when I wanted to give up but I was able to talk it through with my therapist and we found a way to get through it.

The type of therapy I am having is psychotherapy. My therapist told me at the very beginning that it would be a long process. Psychotherapy is no ‘quick fix’. She was honest with me and told me that it would be long and at times emotionally intense and difficult and it has been. It has also been the most valuable experience of my life. However, like other therapies, psychotherapy does not suit everyone.

As I said earlier, no matter what type of treatment you decide on, getting there each week can be the problem. I think this can be one of the reasons that agoraphobia can remain untreated for so long. And the longer it goes untreated unfortunately the worse it may get. There is also the matter of the cost of treatment. Government run programs can be good but there are sometimes long waiting lists, or the treatment period is not long enough. If you decide to pay for it yourself it can be very expensive. If you have been agoraphobic for a long time, it means that you probably have not been able to work for a long time, so you may not have a great deal of money.

If you are unable to access therapy at the moment for whatever reason, I would encourage you to read what you can about agoraphobia. I think I have read every book ever written on agoraphobia! Some books were great, others, well, not so great. Still I think you can take a bit of something from everything you read.

If you have access to the internet there are a number of online support groups, message boards and online forums. I personally have mixed feelings about online support groups. When I was first agoraphobic I joined one and found a great deal of help and support through it initially. However I do think for some people online support can become a substitute for actually doing anything about agoraphobia. On the other hand, agoraphobia is a very isolating disorder and if you can find the support you need online then sharing your experiences and listening to other peoples experiences can be very helpful.

Agoraphobia can be a very misunderstood condition, even by medical professionals. I have had to explain what agoraphobia is to people in the medical profession such as dentists and more recently when I had to go into hospital for day surgery to an anesthetist. I have even been looked at by some doctors with a blank stare.

In the beginning of my agoraphobia I was too embarrassed to tell anyone about it, especially people I didn’t know or who I would have to come into contact with. What I learned through the course of my condition is to tell people, especially if you need to go to a dentist or anywhere else where you may be uncomfortable. Let them know that you are agoraphobic and tell them what you need. Even though when I started to do this I was embarrassed, in the end I found I was much more comfortable doing things this way.
It can be hard to do this at first, especially if you do come across people who don’t understand what you mean when you mention agoraphobia and you have to explain it to them. More often than not people will be very understanding. For example I have had to go for a number of different X-rays. I always told them when I rang for an appointment and then again when I got there and would also tell the X-ray technician. Everyone in this circumstance was lovely and they tried to make it as quick as possible for me and chatted to me to help me try to relax.

I think in the beginning we may try to hide our anxiety from everyone, which in fact just creates even more anxiety from desperately trying to hide how scared we are, as well as just trying to deal with how scared we are. By letting people know we may also be helping other agoraphobics. If you come across someone who doesn’t know or understand what the condition is and you explain it to them, the next time they deal with an agoraphobic person they will have more understanding.

So far I have not mentioned the role of medication in treating agoraphobia.
The reason for this is that I have no first hand experience with medication. I have not taken medication for my agoraphobia. There are a number of reasons for this, including the fact that I have bad reactions to so many medications that I have been very reluctant to try anything as strong as the medications they prescribe for anxiety disorders.
It is not up to me to discuss the role of medication in treating agoraphobia – I shall leave that to others who are far more knowledgeable than me on that subject. As I have said before, the treatment for agoraphobia is a very individual thing and what is right for some will not be right for others. Judging people for the choices they make serves no purpose.

As I said in the last newsletter, one of the other things that has helped me enormously has been meditation. I would strongly encourage everyone to try it. Even if you can do nothing else, please give meditation a try. It is so beneficial in every way. I highly recommend Pauline McKinnon’s Stillness Meditation CD. With meditation it is important to make it a part of your regular everyday routine to get the most from it.

I know the pain of being agoraphobic very well and the awful despair it can bring with it. No matter how you might feel now, please know there is hope and you can find a way to recover.


“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one small step.” Old Chinese proverb.

If anyone has any questions on agoraphobia and my experiences with it, or would like to share some of their experiences or raise any issues I would be happy for you to email me at janesse5@yahoo.com.

Janesse (ADAVIC Member from Sydney) – September 2007

If you haven't as yet joined our Meetup group, don't delay as there are many social events planned plus you will receive notifications about the support groups as well.
Here is the link for our social events group.

Check it out...

http://www.meetup.com/ADAVIC-Social-Events/

How to Treat health Anxiety, tips you can use right now

When you are dealing with health anxiety, there are a few things that you can do right away to begin to feel better, and to learn what you are dealing with. The more that you can do to stop your anxiety from becoming a problem, the better you are going to feel about your health in general and the more that you are going to be able to start to get rid of stressors.


1. First of all, to deal with health anxiety, you'll want to learn as much about your own health as you can. This means taking the time to learn about each of your tests, what your results were, and what that means for you. You'll want to focus on the way that you feel, and on the way that your doctor says you are, health-wise.

2. The next way to deal with your anxiety is to stop dwelling on everything else. Sometimes, you spend so much time worrying about conditions that you might develop, and thinking about conditions that you might someday get that you cause yourself to have much more health anxiety than you should have. One of the best ways to make sure that you don't have anxiety is to stop worrying about all of the little symptoms that might or might not add up to anything.


2. The third way to deal with anxiety is to make sure that you have talked to your doctor about a good diet for you to be on. This doesn't mean a diet to lose weight, it means a diet that includes all of the necessary elements for good health. Many times people get anxiety when they are unhealthy, and they can trace their unhealthiness back to eating a poor diet. Therefore, if you are able to eat a good diet, you'll find that you have less health anxiety.


4. Fourth, in order to get rids of your health anxiety, you want to be sure you are exercising properly. This is one of the more important factors in being healthy in general. It is very important for you to get as much exercise as you possibly can, because this will help you promote good health overall. Talk to your doctor about things that you can do to get good exercise. Lastly, in order to help you deal with your anxiety, you need to relax. Dealing with your health constantly, and dwelling on your sicknesses is one way that you can only add to any health anxiety you might already have.

Source: http://www.ehow.com/how_4860601_tips-can-use-right-now.html

Are you a member of ADAVIC? If not read on.....

Become a financial member of ADAVIC so as you can receive our (44) page quarterly Newsletter.

By being a member you will also be eligible for discounts to lectures and other programs and be kept udpated on the goings on at ADAVIC.
Direct link to sign up for membership is:

http://www.adavic.org.au/PG-adavic-membership-sponsors.aspx

The Ocean - Poem

THE OCEAN

By Eva Savov


There is a feeling, a kind of feeling, words cannot describe, once one learns to be silent and listens to the ocean. One truly understands the meaning of one great man that once said: "Man cannot discover new oceans until he has courage to lose sight of the shore."
A peace of mind occurs. Suddenly you feel the truth within your heart. A magical feeling as you unite and become one with your body, mind and heart. Somehow, you stop analyzing and seeing what's only in front of you. You look deeper and further. You see the waves how they unleash the truth that lies deep within you. You lose sight of all that is limiting and hope finds its way back to your heart. You stop questioning and doubting yourself. You discover the feeling of love that has been yearning for you to share it with the wondrous things in this beautiful land. There is no right or wrong, for love goes beyond any words or actions. It's like a ray of light that leaves your heart and brings a shine to everything that it touches.
The breeze of the wind against your face, is nature's slap to awaken you to what is reality. And reality is, a heart full of love does not experience jealousy, hate or anger, it does not need material possessions to feel happy or waits for someone else to bring it happiness.
You awaken to the truth. The truth is, once you learn to love, honour and appreciate yourself, all other feelings experienced, came to you from feeling insecure and not nurturing and loving yourself.
Copyright © 1994

DOS AND DONTS FOR AGORAPHOBICS

DO’S

Do think positively- make “I can” and “I will” your motto.

Do remember to breathe properly, as failure to do so can lead to dizziness and breathlessness.

Do remember to listen to what you are saying to yourself, as talking to yourself the wrong way will give rise to fear and subsequently, panic.

Do remember to not add fear of feelings.

Do try and think more of your achievements, and less of your failures.

Most important of all, do remember that panic attacks will not harm you, and they always pass over.

DON’TS

Don’t allow the memory of your first panic attack to haunt you. Remember that at the time you suffered your first panic attack, your anxiety level and, in all probability, your physical health, combined to make you vulnerable to panic.

Don’t forget the time when going out on your own was a normal routine and not a major operation like it is now. Remember that you are still the same person; the only change that has taken place has been in the way you are thinking.

Don’t adopt an avoidance technique. Remember that the only way to overcome any phobia is to face up to the situation, or thing, that is causing your fear.

Don’t forget to give yourself credit for achievements, as most sufferers are more inclined to dwell on failures, to the exclusion of successes.

Don’t rush into situations. Pace yourself properly, as rushing can cause physical symptoms like palpitations and breathlessness and a sufferer can add fear to them and create panic.

Don’t be too disappointed if you don’t succeed all the time. Give yourself credit for trying, and remember the old saying: “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again”.

ABOVE ALL- DON’T FORGET THAT YOU CAN RECOVER FROM AGORAPHOBIA.

TWENTY WAYS TO MANAGE STRESS

Work off stress.

Talk to someone you trust.

Learn to accept what you cannot change.

Avoid self medication.

Get enough sleep to recharge your batteries.

Take time out to play.

Do something for others.

Take one thing at a time.

Agree with somebody.

Manage your time better.

Plan ahead.

If you are ill, don’t try to carry on as if you’re not.

Develop a hobby.

The answer lies with you.

Eat sensibly and exercise.

Don’t put off relaxing.

Don’t be afraid to say no.

Know when you are tired and do something about it.

Delegate responsibility.

Be realistic.

Inspirational Quotes!

* People who laugh actually live longer than those who don't laugh. Few persons realize that health actually varies according to the amount of laughter.
James J. Walsh


* Love cures people - both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it.
Dr.Karl Menninger


* His best companions, innocence and health; And his best riches, ignorance of wealth.
Oliver Goldsmith

Being me....

When I was asked to share my story on how I cope with my anxiety problems and also having disabilities, I thought there was no way I could share my journey. Then I started to think about it during the next few days, and here I am trying to put words together to form the article I didn’t think I could write.

We all have a story to share, whether it burns within us waiting to be released is or kept hidden in the closet like skeletons in the dark.

I am not sure when my anxiety problems decided they would try to take over my life, but since I was a young child I have struggled in life. Maybe it was due to my parents getting divorced, family problems or health conditions that have slowly and continued to affect me. I am profoundly deaf, have disabilities, a chronic illness and recently was diagnosed as being legally blind (strange term as I can still see and it’s not against the law to be blind). In some ways, I use my disabilities to avoid social gatherings or invites, it’s like I can hide behind what I have. Why I am scared to socialise? Why do I fear Christmas when it’s about spending time with the people you love? Why do I enjoy being lonely, it’s not natural to be like that? I am sure there are many of you out there reading this that ask yourselves the same questions.

Even when I was a child, I only had one or two friends. I was never the one to be the life of the party. I was usually last to be selected when it came to being split into groups for school or teams sports. Mum tried everything she could to get me involved with something but in the end I just couldn’t fit in.

Now that I am older I find that it’s easier to hide behind “the rock”, but I am slowly learning that it’s not good for me to be in that sort of environment. If I decide I want to go to an event or outing and I’ve said yes, I am forever thinking what if this or that happens, and sometimes I am able to ignore these thought and go, but then sometimes I give in to them and cancel at the last minute.

Having the internet and being able to write to the several penpals that I have I feel has helped me realise some of the anxiety that continues to try and control my life. It’s good being able to reveal things to people you haven’t met or may never see, but then someday I do hope I meet my friends that I’ve shared so much with.

Having a newsletter like the one this article is in brings a lot of hope and courage because it’s something we can all do-sharing our journey in the hope of helping others. What works for some won’t always work for others but there is hope. We all have ladders to climb, it’s just that the steps we take are different some will be slow and others will be fast.

Whether you are disabled or have disabilities try not to hide behind them for we are all blessed in what God has given us. Everyone in some point of their lives will suffer from anxiety and it’s important not to let it affect your life or control it. I have placed some tips below that you may find encouraging.

Tips
Keep a book or writing pad where you feel your anxiety affects you most, and jot them down when you feel they are there even if you only write questions.

Get out into nature, plant a herb garden in your yard or pot up some seedlings – it’s amazing watching nature grow.

Get a small pet like a budgie, fish or something that you feel you could cope with. Pets bring great joy (if you rent try to check with the landlords but small things like birds or a fish shouldn’t be a problem).

Get your hands busy in the kitchen, try baking muffins or discovering new recipes. I love cooking and it’s even better when I can freeze the extra amounts.

Go to your local op shop and discover a new bargain for yourself. It gives me joy going op shopping even if I only buy a few magazines.

I hope that some of those tips help, and I know they won’t help everyone but they will help someone.
I also urge readers out there who were like me thinking they couldn’t put words to paper, but hey I’ve done it (thanks to the computer) and if I can do it so can you it starts with one step….
Anon – June 2009

Keep Quiet, It’s All Right

Pauline McKinnon conquers anxiety with stillness meditation. By Joanne Sim.

Pauline McKinnon was a very different woman 35 years ago to the confident, calm and articulate person she is today. Now a successful author, meditation consultant and psychotherapist, the Kew grandmother of nine enjoyed an extended holiday last year to Morocco, Libya, Jordan, India and China with her husband.

It would be an exciting trip for anyone, but it was much more so for McKinnon, who in her mid-20s struggled to even walk to her front gate. A series of family tragedies and stressful events had triggered McKinnon’s debilitating panic attacks. These led to agoraphobia, which crippled her life for eight years. It wasn’t until McKinnon met eminent psychiatrist Ainslie Meares and his particular brand of Stillness Meditation Therapy that the cloud was finally lifted.

“When I went to Dr Meares the anxiety started to reduce, but it took me nearly two years to feel back on track again,” she says. “For me, it was such a tremendous change from the limited life that I had been living and to be free again to start to rebuild my life and enjoy my life with my family and my kids”.

With Meares’ encouragement, McKinnon first shared her remarkable story in a book, In Stillness Conquer Fear, which was launched on The Mike Walsh Show in 1983. A revised edition of the book was released last year to celebrate the book’s 25 year anniversary.

McKinnon says her progression from patient to practitioner stemmed from a desire to help people like her.

“I always knew that I was here to do something more”, she says. “I had an ambition there to fulfil something that I couldn’t get a handle on, but it just unfolded. I am a great believer in destiny.”

“I wrote from the heart and very genuinely wanted to reach out to other people who were suffering but didn’t have that support”, she says.

“Twenty-five years later, it’s the same story and people are still experiencing their own story in the same way. People are still ringing me up and wanting help for their stress, depression and anxiety, so it just seemed really important to keep the flow going.”

Starting in a small local church hall with a handful of stressed patients, McKinnon’s practice has now grown to the Pauline McKinnon Life Development Centre in Kew, where she teaches her simple method of Stillness Meditation Therapy as taught to her by Meares.

Unlike other forms of meditation, stillness meditation doesn’t use any mantra, breathing technique or ritual to induce the state of deep relaxation. It is simply about learning to experience the natural calm within.

“Meares’ view was that anxiety is the basic cause of all our emotional and physical illness, and if we as a people could reduce and maintain a lower level of anxiety, we wouldn’t get depressed or mentally ill or the chances would be reduced,” McKinnon says. “And it makes an awful lot of sense.”

According to statistics, about 15 percent of Australians suffer from some form of anxiety, although McKinnon says it is a difficult number to confirm, as many people will never register their anxiety or even identify that it is their problem.

“People are emotionally challenged by a lot of things, and the general pace of (modern) life is faster,” she says. “This is good in some ways, but we need to be able to balance it to get that respite so if stress comes along, we can handle it.

“It’s about giving your health priority. If you want to be happy and content, there are certain things that one has to do to make that happen, it doesn’t just occur.”
To her patients, McKinnon likens mental health to oral hygiene: “I say, ‘Come back regularly for visits, do your practice at home with the same dedication as you look after your teeth, and you can keep those anxiety levels down’.”

Although public awareness- and acceptance- of depression and anxiety has increased in the 25 years since McKinnon’s book was first released, she says there are misunderstandings about the seriousness of the afflictions and all the different forms of anxiety.

“We hear a lot about serious physical illness, and rightly so, but at the same time (anxiety and panic attacks) are life threatening in their own way because they are robbing of life, but they don’t get the same support,” she says.

“People don’t want to feel pitied, but just support from government and community support. You are really on your own. Depression comes from anxiety. If people could see that, I think it would make a big difference.”

For more information, visit www.lifedevelopmentcentre.com.au

MY JOURNEY THROUGH AGORAPHOBIA by Janesse – June 2007

Over the last three years or so Janesse from Sydney who is Anna's best friend has been sharing her story with Agoraphobia with ADAVIC Members...today we are posting Part one of her story...we hope you find some hope and inspiration by reading.
Keep checking for updates which will follow in a few days......


Part One

Hi everyone,

I have been thinking a lot about what to write about agoraphobia and my journey with it.

I have many, many things I would like to say about agoraphobia, too many to say in just one article. So over the next few months I would like to discuss different aspects of it and most of all share my experiences of agoraphobia with you.

My hope is to demystify the condition for those who don't understand it, bring awareness to the particular struggles that agoraphobics have to deal with every day and for the others to realise that they are not alone in their struggle with agoraphobia.

There seems to have been a lot written about anxiety disorders in general, but not a great deal about agoraphobia. Agoraphobia often seems to get lumped in with other anxiety disorders, though it may have things in common with them, it really is a totally separate disorder.

I think this is especially true when it comes to treating agoraphobia. Treatment for agoraphobia is often combined with treatment for panic attacks/panic disorder. I feel that the problem with this is that the agoraphobic does not only need treatment for panic attacks, but also for the deep seeded avoidance that has resulted from being afraid to go out. Some agoraphobics are too terrified to even get treatment. I also believe that most agoraphobics have other issues that also need to be dealt with that can also feed their fears. So in fact the problem can be multi-layered and needs a skilled and caring therapist to be able to treat it.

There are a lot of misconceptions about agoraphobia; what it is and how you become agoraphobic. As with depression, many people like to blame the sufferer or label them as lazy, unmotivated and unwilling to get help or try to get better. I would like tell you the truth about agoraphobia from the point of view of someone who has been living with it for over ten years, has tried a variety of treatments to recover from it and has faced many obstacles along the way. I am going to be honest and real with you about everything: the good, the bad, and the ugly. Agoraphobia is horrible. It has been the worst experience of my life. It has been hell, has nearly destroyed me and I have lost nearly ten years of my life to it.

It has affected and nearly ruined every aspect of my life; my relationships, my work, my finances and my health. I have lived not just in fear but often in absolute terror. It becomes debilitating to live this way. It is also often humiliating. As an intelligent woman I often cannot fathom how I can’t seem to get over my fears. A grown woman who can't leave the house because she is too scared? It seems ridiculous and worst of all it feels so shameful. I have cried oceans of tears because of the shame, the humiliation, and the burden I felt I had become. I felt like even though I had tried and tried, I would never get better, that there was something wrong with me because nothing seemed to be working. I have hated myself for not being able to "get over" this. I have dreaded day after day of being stuck in the house not being able to go out and feeling so scared, alone and isolated. At times my heart would become so heavy with the despair of it all and I would think about taking my own life, that is the reality of agoraphobia. Thankfully through finding a wonderful therapist, and having a good friend to talk to, I began to feel like that less and less.

I will discuss the various treatment options for agoraphobia in more detail in the next issue, but for now I will say that after trying various treatments I found that psychotherapy has been the treatment that has helped me.

I am so thankful that I found a wonderful therapist who I really believe has been a life saver for me. In the past while trying to find help, I had some bad experiences with therapy. My experience with my psychotherapist and her patience, kindness and caring attitude has been very healing for me.

I wish I could give you a magical cure. I wish I had all the answers that would help you recover. I wish I could tell you that the road to recovery is easy. I can't. But what I can do is share my story with you and hope that you can take something from it. A little piece of hope, or a recognition that someone else has felt like you do and gotten through it. I am still on the road to recovery and I still have a long journey ahead of me.

The road is bumpy and full of potholes that I can fall into. I often go the wrong way or get lost completely. But with the help of my therapist and a good friend that I can talk to I can manage to stay on the road, and it is worth every hard painful step. I have realised that I am worth every hard painful step it takes toward recovery. I hope that every other agoraphobic can also realise that they are worth it to.

Also, through ADAVIC (Anxiety Disorders Association of Victoria) I have discovered the wonderful work of Pauline McKinnon. Pauline's Stillness Meditation CD has been another factor in my road to recovery. Over the years I had tried various types of meditation but I can honestly say Pauline's method is the most helpful.
I meditate to her soothing voice every morning and have noticed the benefits it has brought. Every day I am calmer and more relaxed and feel a little bit more at peace.
In times of anxiety I often bring to mind Pauline's gentle voice from the meditation CD, I almost feel like she is with me, it is a lovely feeling. Her book about her recovery from agoraphobia 'In Stillness Conquer Fear" is also very much worth reading.

Well, that is at least some of my story. As I said I have many things I would like to discuss where agoraphobia is concerned and will get to all of them over the coming months.

Before I go I would also like to acknowledge the help that ADAVIC has given me over the past few years. Even though I live in Sydney I have always been able to call on ADAVIC for advice if needed. Sydney has nothing like ADAVIC at all.

If only I could convince the fabulous Anna to move to Sydney to head up a branch here!!!

Till next time,

Janesse (ADAVIC Member from Sydney) – June 2007

Managing your time for fitness success!

It’s just the catch cry of just about everyone. We try to fit so much into our lives these days, its not surprising that we feel overwhelmed just trying to fit it all in. Often when this happens, people feel extremely busy, yet accomplish very little towards achieving these objectives. Time itself does not enable people to achieve things. The secret is using time effectively and efficiently. By following these steps you can learn to use the time you have to not only achieve your fitness goals, but also obtain more satisfaction in your everyday life.

1. Breaking it down.

Take some time to list all the things you have to do. This may seem daunting at first, but the actual process of organising and writing things down on paper is psychologically relieving. Once you have written down your commitments, break them down into manageable goals.

For example; Week 1 ‘Floating ‘ goal – Increase cardio
Manageable goal – Increase cardio from two days to four days a week.
Type: Running, cycling, boxing, walking. Duration: 40 minutes
Days: Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday mornings.

2. What really matters?

Organize your commitments in order of priority. Maybe you don’t need to watch TV from 7until 10pm every night. Try cutting it down to four nights a week instead. That’s a whole nine hours a week you now have to spare.

3. Can’t change a thing!

Commitments are called just that for a reason, some things we just cant say no to. Most of us have to work and maintain responsibilities. Acknowledge these in your schedule and block them out as fixed times throughout the day, similarly, identifying the commitments which may be flexible and may be possible to fit in at another time of the day.

For example: 9am to 5 pm, Monday to Friday: Work (fixed).
1pm Saturday: Lunch with friends (Flexible – if I change the lunch from 2pm to a 10am breakfast, I’ll be less likely to hang around for most of the day giving me time to catch up on other things).

4. Give it your best shot

Identify when you are at your most effective: mentally and physically. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Schedule in your workouts when you are feeling energized and are at your physical best throughout the day. Schedule in low-priority, mind-numbing activities when you are at your least effective. For example, preparing meals for the following day.

5. I just want to have fun!

Don’t forget to fit in time to socialize. We can’t always be so rigid that we do not allow time for ourselves. Everyone deserves to catch up with friends or family. You may want to schedule in your cheat meal for your regular Saturday night out on the town. Alternatively, you may prefer to be flexible on the weekend.

6. Uh-oh!

Sometimes tings do not go to plan. You get an injury, a family member becomes ill. You lose your job. The important thing is to accept when unexpected events occur. Its called ‘life’ and there are always surprises. Don’t beat yourself up over it, instead accept it and make a promise to get on top of things as soon as things get back to normal.
Remember time management is not about a life sentence, it’s also about having fun whilst achieving your goals. The key is to make it work for you. By following this advice, you will feel more relaxed and positive and start living the life you’ve always wanted.

About the writer: Carmen Rossitto has a BA (Psychology) (Public Relations) and BA (Honours) (Psychology) from Deakin University. She has a passion for helping others overcome adversity and achieve their goals in life.

What is Support?

Some people feel that seeking support is a sign on weakness but that IS NOT so.

SUPPORT is not dependence
SUPPORT is interdependence
SUPPORT includes sharing yourself with others when they need support
SUPPORT helps you become more competent
SUPPORT opposes segregation and loneliness
SUPPORT is the basis of effective neighbourhoods and communities
SUPPORT is the way people become more powerful, and groups become more powerful
SUPPORT is the basis for co-operation
SUPPORT helps to manage tension
SUPPORT is doing what another may find too difficult
SUPPORT is really listening to another person
SUPPORT includes empathy, respect, self-disclosure and genuineness

Getting through an Anxiety Disorder is tough, and most people need others to help them. Therefore, it is a good idea to think about creating a support network for yourself. Your support network might include close family and friends, as well as your psychologist and GP. Alternatively, you might prefer to only talk to health professionals. It depends on what helps you most and what you feel most comfortable with.

FORMAL supports might include:

- GPs
- counselors
- psychologists
- psychiatrists
- support groups
- telephone supports
- monitored internet chat rooms (semi-formal)


INFORMAL supports might include:
- friends
- family
- pets
- monitored internet chat rooms or
- email buddies
- sports teams
- church groups

My experience with counselling—Anon

During my experience going through counselling at first was a scary thought. I had no idea of what to say although I knew in my heart what was going on in that time of thought when I needed to talk to someone about how I was feeling.

I had no idea of what to say. I felt embarrassed at first. I had all these thoughts going through my head but wasn’t sure how to get them out and talk about them. I spoke to friends and family, and even though they were there to listen to me and try to advise me, it still wasn’t enough for me to think it was all out of my head and gone for me to understand how to handle the way I felt. Most of the time I swept my thoughts under the carpet thinking I was just being silly, or overreacting about silly things. Little did I know they were not silly thoughts at all. They were the little things eating away at me because I didn’t know how to deal with them myself.

I finally got the courage to go and see a counselor which was through my mum’s work. I was very nervous on my first day, it felt like there was something wrong with me. I felt strange and shaky. My dad drove me for my first session, he knew I was nervous and said to me its ok, there’s nothing wrong with you, you just need to open up and tell the counselor how you are feeling and what is bothering you so much.

I remember walking into the room and sitting down with the counselor and she introduced herself to me. She was lovely, nice and gentle. Hi Michelle, she said. What can I do for you today? How about you start by telling me how your day has been so far. She was able to break the ice quickly and professionally. She was close to my age so I found it not so bad to start off by telling her how my day so far was going. Then she slowly went into things about my family history and if there were any issues I wanted to talk about. It took me awhile to be able to trust her in a way I could just open up and talk freely about how I was feeling. Usually I’m not very open about the way I feel so she had to try and find little ways to open up the way I was feeling.

After we had discussed a few things, I finally got into some deep talking and what was really bothering me. It felt good but the more I spoke the more emotional I became. I felt so sad and alone, the room around me felt dark and gloomy. I was in a world of my own, but getting it out in the open with someone I trusted and cared about what I was saying made me feel a little better, but I wasn’t out of the woods just yet. There were a few issues I had to raise.

While discussing things my counselor told me she wanted to see more of me. I asked how many times she would need to see me, she replied with once a week at this point. I asked her why she wanted to see me once a week. She said she was worried about me and my wellbeing and how seeing her would hopefully help me to lift some of the sadness away from my life. At that stage I was very emotional and had a lot to get off my chest. I wasn’t the happy teenage girl I should have been.

I went to counseling for 6 months. I was only supposed to have six sessions, but because of the way I felt I needed a lot of coaching and to help me get through my problems. My counselor had given me a diary to write things down that were bothering me during the week when I wasn’t seeing her, so when I went to see her the following week I was able to discuss what was bothering me and we both thought of strategies to work out how I could overcome the way I was thinking and put them into positive thoughts, even though thoughts were negative in my life.

Throughout my six months, I found new ways to cope with my sadness at the time. I would write notes down all the time and work through ways to become a happy person. By the time I had left my counseling sessions I was able to move into a different direction and could see colour in my life. I smiled more. I was happy with myself and things around me didn’t have the same effect as before. My negative thoughts were moving into a positive direction where I was able to fight the way I was feeling and be more determined to become strong and believe in a force that could direct me into a happier environment. I was no longer in that dark place. Every time something would upset me, I would write it all down and keep a journal. Before I knew it I was turning negative into positive and wanted to be around people who would inspire me and help me become a better person. No-one could ever make me feel sad because I would wipe those thoughts out of my head.

All of these years down the track I have now discovered a passion to work as a counselor myself and hope to study, what I believe would help and hopefully help other people in situations I felt myself. Emotions are very powerful thoughts. I find if I listen to particular songs at the time, they make me feel even stronger. The one band I find encouraging and what really goes on in someone’s head. It brings on such a strong emotion, but a good emotion.

There are places now that you can call over the telephone if you don’t feel like a face to face discussion. They are called Beyond Blue or Lifeline which is confidential and trained professionals guide you through your questions. Counselors are not there to tell you what to do but to listen to you and guide you through to a positive place. No one can tell you how you feel, but they are there to listen to you.

Lifeline 13 11 14
Kids Help Line 1800 551 800
Mens Line 1300 78 9978
Families Counselling Line 1800 011 046
Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636

Re-printed with permission – Wellbeing Magazine
This Magazine is produced by the participants of the “Well-being Magazine” A Work for the Dole activity which is sponsored by WorkForce Plus.

Anna’s Story!

Hi my name is Anna, and I’m a 22 year old university student who has social phobia. I’m not exactly sure when this all started for me, I can remember being a happy-go-lucky child but my teenage years were pretty stressful. I remember the phobia becoming a real problem when I left high school and started Uni. I would just become absolutely terrified at the prospect of being asked questions in lectures or appearing strange or different to everyone else in my classes. I was really frightened that I would embarrass myself by saying something or doing something stupid and that everyone would laugh at me. It really affected my studies, I found it hard to go to my lectures and if I did go I would end up panicking and have to sneak out of the room. I would always sit at the back close to the exit so that I could just slink out when it all became too much. I worried that the lecturers thought that I was lazy or unable to do the work, and that my classmates would just think that I was weird, and that made my anxiety worse. I also found social situations extremely difficult, especially large groups, and at my age that’s something that is really hard to deal with and explain to others. When the anxiety hit I felt like I had no control over myself, I would shake, my heart would pound, and then there’s the sweating and feeling of hot then cold. I would become short of breath and my chest would tighten. So many times I was convinced I would die, or that I had contracted a horrible disease. I finally decided to look for help and that’s when I found PADA. I had a talk with them over the phone and they made me feel very comfortable. I attended an info session with my best friend in town and then we decided to attend a weekend workshop together. I was terrified and I was getting all of those horrible feelings, but I was determined to get some help. I found both the info session and the workshop very helpful, and I was so relieved to find that there were others who felt the same as me. I am now working through this with my psychologist and things are better. I’m back at Uni on a part time basis. Some days are still really hard. Especially when I see others sitting around chatting and socializing in the cafeteria, and I hear people talk about what a fantastic night out they had. It still makes me sad sometimes, but I’m lucky I have a couple of very supportive friends who are always around to lend a hand, and Mum seems to be a bit more understanding these days.

One day that will be me chatting and laughing with a big group of friends planning our next night out. I have faith in myself and the determination to continue on this journey however long and winding it may be.
You should join me!

Re-printed with permission from The Panic Anxiety Disorder Association (South Australia)

Positive Daily Affirmations For Health

Examples of positive daily affirmations for health include:


1. I am glowing with health and wholeness.
2. I behave in ways that promote my health more every day.

3. I deserve to be in perfect health.

4. I am highly motivated to exercise my body because I find exercise as fun.

5. I love nutritious healthy food, and I enjoy eating fresh fruits and vegetables.

6. I am healthy since my practices are healthy.

7. I let go of the past so I can create health now.

8. I create health by expressing love, understanding and compassion.

Positive Daily Affirmations For Self Esteem!

Examples of positive daily affirmations for self esteem include:

1. I am sure of my ability to do what is necessary to improve my life.

2. If I make mistakes, I am able to give myself the benefit of the doubt.

3. I feel basically worthy as a person.

4. I am able to take risks and try new things without fear.

5. I feel good about the way I do my job.

6. I feel about myself pretty much what others think of me.

7. I have compassion for myself and the way my life has developed.

8. I am deserving of all the good things in my life.

“Anxious but Safe”

“Anxious but Safe” by Joe Bolza, Clinical Psychologist
(now retired) PADA

Anxiety can make its presence felt under several very different situations. When the anxiety system is activated, it can feel much the same, regardless of the cause or validity of anxiety. Usually we get an automatic sense of danger when we are anxious, however, depending on the situation, we may actually be quite safe. Sorting out our actual level of safety is vital. We too often “listen to our anxious feelings” and act as if they were accurate signals of danger, without checking out if they are “on track”.

The most obvious anxiety provoking situation is when there is a clear and current danger. Typical examples are being physically attacked, being actually threatened with punishment, when we see someone (for example a child) exposing themselves to danger (crossing a busy road without looking).

The second is when learning and memory are involved. An actual danger, or a “felt” danger has occurred in the past. Memory stores the experience, including the situation and the feeling. When you find yourself in a similar situation in the future, the memory can activate the anxiety system, putting you “on guard”. The situation often just has to have some similarity. It doesn’t have to be identical. We may not even be aware why we are anxious under these conditions. There may also not be a current danger, as the situation is not identical enough. For example, we may in the past have been attacked by a swooping magpie. We may then get anxious in the presence of similar sized birds, even though they are different kinds of birds, and in fact harmless.

The third is the least understood. It includes “out of the blue” panic attacks and periods of anxiety states. Many of these have a physiological cause, such as hormonal changes (often around menopause, prior to periods, pregnancy, post natal), blood sugar changes, hyperventilation, medication or withdrawal from medication, many street drugs, etc. Usually, the experience is best seen as a “false alarm”, meaning that we have become agitated because a physiological change has been misinterpreted by our nervous system as “cause for alarm”. As a false alarm, we need to see that any alarming thoughts or conclusion we might have are also “false”. That then means we are likely to be safe.

Change in itself can sometimes trigger the anxiety system, putting you in a physiological state of readiness in case the new situation may pose difficulties or dangers. We often confuse “might be a problem”, with “is a problem”, especially when we are highly anxious. We need to use other objective methods of assessing actual problems, such as our “eyes and ears”, rather than our potentially misleading anxiety. Change in fact could be quite safe.

We are biologically primed to be somewhat anxious in many social situations, even if there is no actual physical danger. Our nervous system responds to having eyes looking at us, so it is normal to be revved up if we are the focus of attention. The larger the “audience”, or the more power it has to criticize, or judge, the more anxious we are likely to become. This can be minimised by lots of practise involving positive experiences, but most people are likely to have their anxiety system “on guard” to some degree. This is an important lesson in helping people with social phobia, who find it embarrassing and shameful to have anxiety symptoms in social situations.

Finally, most people are aware of how we can “talk ourselves into feeling anxious”. Even if we are feeling initially quite comfortable, if we start thinking too many “what ifs” about some situation, the anxiety system starts engaging, to prepare us “better” in case the “what ifs” start to materialize. As we start to get anxious, it appears to validate our growing sense of danger, which then increases our anxiety. Before we know it, we can build a five star Hollywood drama and believe in it. Meanwhile, the situation we are in could be quite harmless, and none of our anxious predictions come to pass.

Overall the main point is that when anxiety surfaces, for whatever reason, it is only our personal warning system saying there might be some danger. It doesn’t in fact mean there is danger. We could be “anxious but safe”.

Re-printed with permission by Joe Bolza