Where did I put my hope?
Where did my joy go?
I’m sure I must have had them
Everyone did, didn’t they?
Why is love a word I don’t understand
I hear it. I even say it
I keep wondering what it feels like
I put on my masks everyday
The invisible cloaks so I can move about unseen
While silently screaming
See me! Can’t you hear me?
Oblivion comes knocking at my door
The temptation is sometimes strong
To see what it has to offer
The glitter of metal
The allure of peace, silence
I close the door saying
“Thanks, but not today”
I’m looking for hope and joy
Do you know where I can find them?
I move through life like a wraith
Showing myself briefly
A left profile
A right profile
A slight smile
Then gone, not tangible
Hope, joy and love becoming a holy grail
A quest, a fantasy, an illusion
So many turn out to be false and a lie
Oblivion waits, watching silently, patient
There is a glow in the distance that beckons
It too is patient
Every step taken towards it it gets stronger, warmer
I used to play in its glow
Why do the shadows draw so strongly
Do they really seek my soul?
Blue eyes haunt me
Where did I go?
By Jane Hammett
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