Inspirational Quotes

 

“You need to let the little things that would ordinarily bore you suddenly thrill you.”

- Andy Warhol

“I used many times to touch my own chest and feel, under its asthmatic quiver, the engine of the heart and lungs and blood and feel amazed at what I sensed was the enormity of the power I possessed. Not magical power, but real power. The power simply to go on, the power to endure, that is power enough, but I felt I had also the power to create, to add, to delight, to amaze and to transform.”- Stephen Fry

“He who conquers endures.”

 -Persius

CYBER BULLYING

Aly, an ADAVIC volunteer writes about cyber bullying

Cyber Bullying

By Aly 

School bullying has been the focus of much research over the last few decades. However, a new form of bullying known as cyber bullying has now become increasingly recognised and investigated in the 21st century. With the advent of modern   forms of communication, students are beginning to use technology such as home computers and mobile phones to bully their peers. Although there are still many debilitating consequences with traditional bullying methods (at school), the victims are fortunately able to come home and be safe from the taunting and teasing of their bullies. Now, with bullies making their way online, some victims feel they have no safe place, because the bullying can happen anywhere - through internet or mobile access. It can also happen at any time of the day or night.

Moreover, cyber bullying can have deleterious effects on a child’s mental health. In particular, it can leave teenagers with low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, less interest in school, a deep sense of loneliness, self-harming and, in some cases, suicide.

Recently, there has been much media attention concerning this topic and its relationship to suicide. It is unknown whether other factors play a part, but cyber bullying is a contributing element in teen suicide. Many were affected by Sheniz Erkan’s suicide, a victim of cyber-bulling who was sadly too afraid to speak up. Interestingly, a third of those who experience cyber bullying do not report it. If we are to succeed in preventing bullying, we need to break the climate of silence in which it thrives by empowering children and young people to speak out and seek help.

Cyber bullying can be tough to spot. Many young people who are being bullied don’t want to tell teachers or parents, perhaps because they feel ashamed or they worry about losing their computer privileges at home. Parents often tell their children to turn off the mobile phones or stay off the computer. Many parents don’t understand that the internet and mobile phone act as a social lifeline for teenagers to their peer group.

As a parent, you might find it hard to keep up with the different technologies your child uses. Or you might not know how to bring up the subject of cyber bullying.

Some warning signs that your child might be a victim of cyber bullying include:

• Being upset during or after using the internet

• Withdrawing from friends and activities 

• Being more moody than usual, or showing obvious changes in behaviour, sleep or appetite

• Spending much longer than usual online, or refusing to use the computer at all 

•  Exiting or clicking out of a computer activity if a person walks by  

• Avoiding school or group gatherings

• Bringing home lower marks than usual 

• ‘Lashing out’ in anger at home

• Having trouble sleeping

• Feeling sick or complaining of frequent headaches or stomach aches.

Some steps for parents to follow to help prevent cyber bullying are:

•  Making sure the household computer is placed in a central location in the home and not in the child’s room where its use cannot be monitored properly.

• Allocate times where children are allowed to go on the computer, for example, 30mins before/after dinner.

• Have weekly family discussion sessions, such as sitting around the table for dinner and talk about how school is going etc.

• Select schools which have a zero tolerance to bullying.

Tips for people experiencing bullying: 

• Talk to your parents or someone else you trust, about what is going on; don’t try to deal with the situation on your own

• Print or save all emails, text messages, or chat conversations where the bully interacts with you

• Report bullying to your parents, school teacher, Internet Service Provider (ISP), or police if it continues

• Use privacy options on Facebook and MySpace

• Change your mobile number and block your number ID in future to prevent it being recorded when making calls with general phone use  

 Some other resources for people who are/know victims of cyber bullying and need support/help: 

• ADAVIC Against Bullying – a forum on Tumblr with resources on bullying and where individuals can express their experiences/concerns and receive support and information in turn. http://adavic-againstbullying.tumblr.com/

• Kids Helpline – 1800 55 1800

• Beyond Blue – 1300 224 636

• Lifeline - 13 11 14

References

1. www.raisingchildren.net.au
2. http://www.cyberbullying.info/resources/downloads/ChrisWebster_WhatIsCyberbullying.pdf

LOST IN CYBER SPACE: TACKLING CYBER BULLYING

 ADAVIC is holding a lecture:

Lost in Cyberspace: Tackling Cyber Bullying

Presenter: Sharon Witt B.Ed, M.Ed

More than 90% of our young people are now connected online. Known collectively as ‘Digital Natives’, never before have they been so connected. But with such connectivity comes a price.

Cyber bullying is a common form of harassment that occurs on line. It involves unwanted and tormenting messages, harassing emails and instant messages, posting inappropriate photographs or information about another person. It can have catastrophic effects on young people. In this one hour presentation (with extra time for questions) the following will be covered:

-Why people bully others online

-The various ways children harass each other in Cyber world

-Why many young people will not tell if they are being Cyber bullied

-Key characteristics of bullies

-What you can do and where to go for help if you are involved in a bullying situation

About the Presenter

Sharon Witt has been immersed in teen world for over twenty years in her role as a secondary teacher and author of 7 books in the Teen Talk series. She is a mum of two adolescents and regularly appears on morning television as a parenting educator.

Sharon is also regularly called on to speak on national radio and in print media about a variety of topics relating to raising teenagers. She also runs a parenting blog and Facebook page 

www.teentalkinternational.com

Thursday June 7 

7.30pm-9.00pm 

Maroondah Federation Estate (Rooms 1 and 2)

32 Greenwood Avenue, RINGWOOD. VIC. 

(Mel Ref: 49 H10)

UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS

An expectation is a hope or belief that something may materialise within a certain time frame or according to what we perceive in our mind’s eye. Having an expectation to accomplish something or to achieve a desire can be categorised as a healthy need. However stress starts when we place unrealistic expectations on ourselves and sometimes on others. Emotional distress, relationship conflicts, communication breakdowns, misunderstandings, distrust and anticipation are few stresses that we may experience as a direct result of unrealistic expectations. It is important to be aware when we place expectations that are too high for achievements. When undertaking a project or setting goals, many factors such as time and resources available should be taken into consideration. When we surpass our capacity to perform our desires we end up causing ourselves frustration, anger, discouragement and depression.


Let’s take someone who wants to lose 50 pounds. This person is very eager to lose weight and sees an advertisement on television of someone who lost 25 pounds in two weeks. She places an expectation of herself to lose 25 pounds in two weeks. If consideration is given to how long it took this person to put on 50 pounds in the first place, the calculation may be months or years. Yet the desire is to get a quick fix without giving importance to the process involving weight loss. Losing 25 pounds in two weeks is not logical but an expectation is already placed towards achievement which may very well end up in failure. This kind of expectation is unrealistic and the conclusion may be disappointment, frustration and finally to give up ones goals or desires. On the other hand, if thought is given to breaking down the goal into manageable portion and a plan is made to lose one or two pounds a week, that in the long run will lead to achievements. It may take many months but the goal is reasonable, logical and achievable. Therefore it is a wiser option to be realistic in our approach and have the wisdom to make goals that are attainable. Coming to terms with unrealistic expectations will give us the power to set ourselves free from wanting to achieve high standards.


Life sometimes has a way of shaking things up; let’s make allowances for these life hiccups. Ambitions and goals are great when we play, laugh, relax, love, live, and get things done in a reasonably realistic manner. Healthy realistic goals that work for us will allow us the freedom to enjoy our life and live it to its fullest. If attention is given to how our moods and emotions are intimately tied to our expectations we can pin point the reason why we may want to get involved in unrealistic expectations. It is always the unrealized goals that give unrealistic expectations the power. Then we are disappointed, annoyed and angry that we have failed again. We are humans who sometimes are prone to error, frailty and imperfections; therefore, it is alright if we are not able to accomplish things in a perfect or ideal way.


Giving ourselves a break, being easier on ourselves, setting realistic goals and giving deadlines that are reasonable will avoid failure in the long term. It is better to take time to achieve our goals than to totally stress ourselves. Being able to reassess our plan in a realistic manner is a healthy and flexible way of dealing with our achievements. The secret of people who are highly productive is that they rarely try to tackle a difficult task all at once. Instead, they break the job down into smaller components and do one small step at a time. The achievements will come in knowing our strengths and our weaknesses. Knowing ourselves will make achievements easier. Next time your mind races towards those unrealistic expectations, take a minute to think about the cycle you are about to enter.


By Jeanette (ADAVIC Volunteer)

PERFECTIONISM by Aly—(ADAVIC Volunteer)

I have to go over my work many times until it’s acceptable to me
I don’t trust others to do as good a job as I do so I end up doing it all
I can’t stand it when other people don’t do things my way
I blame myself if things aren’t done just right
I have to do more and more in order to feel accepted by others
I’m so afraid of failing that I never get started
I have no free time
No achievement is ever enough
Who has ever experienced at least one of these thoughts before? I know I have. This may be known to many of you as ‘perfectionism.’

Perfectionism involves putting pressure on ourselves to meet high standards which then powerfully influences the way we think about ourselves. Researchers have shown that parts of perfectionism are helpful, and parts are unhelpful. This is similar to how some anxiety is adaptive, while a lot can be maladaptive. I am sure most of you reading this now would agree, that it is generally a good idea to have high standards. Having goals helps you achieve things in life. But sometimes these standards get in the way of our happiness. Sometimes the drive to do well can actually impair our performance. This is the paradox of perfectionism!

Pursuing these personally demanding standards can have a significant impact on your health and wellbeing. For example, an extremely common characteristic among anxiety sufferers is perfectionism. Expecting perfection from or for yourself can amplify fear of failure, limit learning experiences, and increase anxiety as you reach for and worry about attaining impossible expectations. Perfectionism, while sometimes positively reinforced by teachers, parents, or employers, can quickly result in feelings of low achievement and inferiority when expectations are not met. Perfectionism is usually driven by a fear of negative possibilities, which directly feeds anxiety and often leads to depression.

Here I will list some strategies to help you identify and work on the unhelpful parts, so that you get satisfaction from your achievements and lead a more fulfilling life. This will involve setting appropriate goals and standards for yourself, making it more likely you’ll achieve your goals and experience a sense of fulfilment, rather than feeling frustrated and blaming yourself all the time for not getting things ‘perfect’.

Firstly, it is important you work on one goal area and one specific goal at a time. This is not a race! I understand it may be tempting for some of you to jump straight into achieving your goals and ‘doing it perfectly,’ and others may be tempted to procrastinate because of fear of ‘failure.’ Therefore, take a deep breath and start with a relatively easy task. You can then gradually build up to a harder task. Also, remember to loosen up your unrelenting standards. Breaking down each goal into small steps may also be helpful. The number of steps depends on how stressful a particular goal is. A high-challenge goal will need more steps than a medium-challenge goal.

Remember that you’ll probably experience some anxiety - at any step. That’s why it’s important to start small and work your way up. This gives you the chance to adapt to that level of anxiety, so that you aren’t overwhelmed by higher levels of distress. It might be tempting to return to your perfectionism behaviours if you feel uncomfortable. Keep going until the anxiety reduces so you can see that, as scary as the feelings are, they are not dangerous and they do subside.

• Lastly, I want to leave you all with speaking the following thoughts out loud!

• It is OK to make mistakes.

• It is not necessary to do things perfectly. I do not care if I am judged.

• It is not important that my social interactions or social events go perfectly.

• I put my best forward when interacting with others, but I do not need to be perfect.

• I do not expect friends to be perfect. I appreciate their humanness.

• I love and appreciate my imperfect life, imperfect events, and imperfect interactions.

• My mistakes and imperfections make me human.

• My family does not need to be perfect. My life does not need to be perfect.

• Being a non-perfectionist enables me to do more, create more, and experience more.



Resources:
http://www.selftherapy.org/info/57-anxiety-depression-perfection/
And
http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER (OCD) and COMPULSIVE HOARDING

The Anxiety Disorders Association of Victoria Presents


OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER (OCD) and COMPULSIVE HOARDING

A Lecture with Dr Scott Blair-West, Consultant Psychiatrist and Dr Christopher Mogan, Clinical
Overview
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: Dr Scott Blair-West will discuss the nature of OCD with examples of the different obsessive thoughts and compulsive rituals people perform. He will present a model for putting it all together and understanding why people wash their hands or check the stove, the toaster, the doors etc. and how it gets harder to stop doing these things after you get into the habit of doing so. Some of the more newly recognised OCD symptoms will be mentioned including mental rituals such as counting, praying, analysis and reviewing, reassurance-seeking and other subtle actions all designed to reduce anxiety. The focus then will switch to treatment including medications and psychological treatments such as Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). Finally some newer and experimental treatments will be discussed. There will be time for questions as well.
Dr Scott Blair-West trained at the Austin completing his DPM and FRANZCP in psychiatry in 1993. He subsequently worked as a lecturer in the Department of Psychiatry at the Austin for 5 years while starting a private practice specializing in CBT for anxiety disorders especially OCD. Scott has been in full time private practice since 1998 and the Medical Director of the Anxiety and Depression Programme (ADP) at the Melbourne Clinic since 2002. He now specializes in comprehensive management of anxiety disorders, developing new intensive inpatient programmes for OCD, novel treatment approaches for OCD and CBT supervision for psychiatrists and trainees. He regularly teaches CBT to trainees and talks to community groups on anxiety-related issues.

Compulsive Hoarding: Dr Hogan will outline the problems associated with Compulsive Hoarding in the community, the impact on family and personal lives, and the difficulties involved in assessment, treatment and dealing with compulsive hoarders.
Dr Christopher Mogan, Clinical Psychologist is the Director of The Anxiety Clinic in Richmond that provides interventions for complex presentations of emotional distress including panic, OCD, PTSD, chronic worry and related depression. He is an expert on Compulsive Hoarding and completed the first major study of Compulsive Hoarding in Australia. He collaborates with the SwinPsyCHE Research Centre at Swinburne University in research and training in Compulsive Hoarding. Dr Mogan runs training workshops for health professionals in Compulsive Hoarding and related areas, and is actively involved in a working group of professionals from the Metropolitan Fire Brigade, Department of Human Services, Office of Housing, Local Government and RSPCA seeking to raise awareness about hoarding issues including animal hoarding.

Tuesday 29th May 2012
7.30pm – 9.00pm
Chelsea Heights Community Centre
160 Thames Promenade, Chelsea Heights VIC, (Melway Ref: 93 / F12)
Cost:
$20.00 Non-Members
$10.00 CHCC Members and ADAVIC Members

Bookings:
Phone: ADAVIC (03) 9853 8089
Email: adavic@adavic.org.au
Website: www.adavic.org.au

Quotes!

Quote by Louise Hay

POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY

Psychology should be just as interested in building the best things in life as in repairing the worst and be as concerned with making the lives of normal people fulfilling as with healing pathology. Positive psychology is a new branch of psychology which aims to understand and promote factors that allow individuals, groups and organisations to thrive. Though not denying humanity’s flaws, positive psychology has focused on studying strengths, virtues as well as happiness. To date, there have been number of definitions used in the literature to define happiness, ranging from life satisfaction and appreciation of life to momentary feelings of pleasure, or the frequent experience of positive emotions. Numerous studies demonstrate that happy individuals are successful across life domains, including marriage, friendship, income work performance and health. Positive psychology interventions not only help individuals who are suffering from depression and anxiety disorders, but also assist individuals who are well adjusted to add more meaning and purpose in their life and help prevent them from developing mental health problems. Positive psychologists strive to build a collection of positive interventions and tools that will assist people to work on character strengths such as resilience, optimism, gratitude, intrinsic motivation, and self-efficacy which have been regarded to contribute to subjective well-being and happiness. Some positive psychology interventions include savouring the moment, practicing acts of kindness, using strengths and virtues in new and innovative ways, thinking about three things that went well each day and why they went well. These interventions have been found to improve relationships and foster positive thoughts and feelings.




Peter Kyriakoulis

Director of the Positive Psychology Centre

Clinical Psychologist

Dealing with Uncertainty by Jess Chircop

“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.”

~John Allen Paulos


Uncertainty is challenging for everybody. Some struggle with the inability to plan ahead, others with the risk that can accompany uncertainty (“will I have enough money to pay my rent?”) and some people just cannot stand that feeling of anxiety that uncertainty can bring. For mental health sufferers this may be something that is all too familiar. For everybody else, that feeling that overcomes your stomach and the thoughts that circulate in your mind, still do not seem easy to combat.


Lets discuss a light example of uncertainty. I will volunteer myself as an example (as a past volunteer for ADAVIC, it seems only fitting). I always knew what career path I would follow. When I finished my undergraduate degree at University I enrolled straight into an Honours course and was sure I would follow that with a masters degree. Half way through that Honours course I realised my heart (or maybe my head?) was not in it anymore. So I finished that year without any idea what would come next. Was I making a mistake not re-enrolling? Would I find a job I liked? What would everyone say if I was unemployed for the next year and had to then slink back to Univerisity with my tail between my legs? The thoughts that cross your mind when you face the anxiety around being uncertain can vary from the logical to the ridiculous.


Unfortunately, if we don’t expose ourselves to feelings of uncertainty, it probably means we are not taking any chances. If we protect ourselves from the unknown forever then we end up living a life without any challenge and without any excitement. I am not suggesting that you throw caution to the wind and let fate control every outcome in your life, but it is important that we loosen those ties we have with control every so often.

Here are some examples on how you can ease into it:

Prepare for different possibilities: In the example I used above I really had two logical outcomes, either I would get a job or I wouldn’t. So planning would involve searching for a job, and understanding that if I didn’t get one I would need a plan b (for example, re-enrolling in study or volunteering). Make a list if you have several possible outcomes.

Use stress-reducing techniques as soon as uncertainty becomes a possibility: The best way is to use breathing techniques and meditation.

Understand your uncertainty: Is it really being uncertain that bothers you, or is it the feelings that uncertainty elicits? Learn to check yourself and your thoughts. Have your thoughts gone from “I might not be able to find a job” to “I will end up unemployed, lonely and surrounded by twenty cats” – if so, then you are probably stressing out more than is necessary and for that, you can follow the previous step (breathing and meditation).

Focus on what you can control: You may not control whether someone hires you for a job, or whether an elderly parent passes away. However, you can control how well you write your resume and perform in a job interview. You can also control how you choose to spend your last days with a loved one. No one ever expects you to have the utmost control over your life, just do what you can (not what you think you should) and you will be all the better for it.

Understand that escape from uncertainty as impossibility: You will never have a life free from uncertainty. Understanding this and that we all deal with things in different manners, is why getting a hold of this, and realising what works for you is important in living a fulfilling life. Try a few techniques and see what eases those feelings and thoughts that we all know too well.


By Jessica – former ADAVIC volunteer who let uncertainty into her life and found…it paid off.


Jess was with ADAVIC for over a year who wrote numerous articles for past edition of our newsletter; she was part of the office support team and helped at numerous events as well. Jess was a delight to work with and everyone she worked with is missing her already.



Jess successfully gained full time employment in research at the Cancer Council of Victoria.


We all wish her well!

Research!

Some Positive Quotes!

Poem - Depression!

Where did I put my hope?
Where did my joy go?
I’m sure I must have had them
Everyone did, didn’t they?
Why is love a word I don’t understand
I hear it. I even say it
I keep wondering what it feels like
I put on my masks everyday
The invisible cloaks so I can move about unseen
While silently screaming
See me! Can’t you hear me?
Oblivion comes knocking at my door
The temptation is sometimes strong
To see what it has to offer
The glitter of metal
The allure of peace, silence
I close the door saying
“Thanks, but not today”
I’m looking for hope and joy
Do you know where I can find them?
I move through life like a wraith
Showing myself briefly
A left profile
A right profile
A slight smile
Then gone, not tangible
Hope, joy and love becoming a holy grail
A quest, a fantasy, an illusion
So many turn out to be false and a lie
Oblivion waits, watching silently, patient
There is a glow in the distance that beckons
It too is patient
Every step taken towards it it gets stronger, warmer
I used to play in its glow
Why do the shadows draw so strongly
Do they really seek my soul?
Blue eyes haunt me
Where did I go?

By Jane Hammett