I will STAND UP to bulling!

Cyber-bullying

Cyber-bullying is using technology to deliberately and repeatedly bully someone else. It can happen to anyone, anytime, and can leave you feeling unsafe and alone.

Cyber-bullying can include:

-abusive texts and emails
-posting unkind messages or images
-imitating others online
-excluding others online
-inappropriate image tagging

Remember, treat others as you would like to be treated when communicating online.

While cyber-bullying is similar to face-to-face bullying it also differs in the following ways:

-it can give the person doing the bullying a sense of being anonymous
-it can occur 24/7 and be difficult to escape
-it is invasive and you can be targeted while at home
-it can have a large audience - sent to groups or posted on a public forum
-it can be permanent

How to deal with it:

-Don’t retaliate or respond.
-Block the person doing the bullying and change your privacy settings.
-Report it - Click the report abuse button.
-Collect the evidence - keep mobile phone messages and print emails or social networking conversations.
-Talk to someone you trust, like a family member or friend.

Talking to your teachers or parents can make a difference. Your school may have policies in place to deal with bullying and cyber-bullying.

Remember, if you witness someone being bullied, ACT! Tell someone, offer support, don't become a part of it by forwarding it on...

For this article and more on cyber-bullying check out cybersmart.

The Bully Poem

Don’t laugh at me, don’t call me names,
Don’t take your pleasure from my pain.
I’m a little boy with glasses
The one they call a geek,
A little girl who never smiles
‘Cause I have braces on my teeth
And I know how it feels to cry myself to sleep
I’m that kid on every playground
Who’s always chosen last
A single teenage mother
Tryin’ to overcome my past
You don’t have to be my friend
But is it too much to ask: Don’t laugh at me
Don’t call me names
Don’t get your pleasure from my pain…
Don’t laugh at me. I’m fat, I’m thin, I’m short, I’m tall
I’m deaf, I’m blind, hey aren’t we all.

-Steve Seskin and Allen Shamblin,
“Don’t Laugh at Me”

Sourced from The anti-Bullying Blog. For more check it out

Weekly Quote

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White

A Diet For Happiness

The saying "you are what you eat" takes on a whole new meaning with research showing that food effects our mental health and helps to reduce depression and anxiety.

Dr Felice Jacka from Deakin University found that diets high in processed foods and junk food were more likely to suffer from anxiety and depression than those who had diets high in fruit, vegetables, fish and other lean protein.

So changing what you eat can really make you healthier and happier!

Delete Cyber Bullying by Jasmine (ADAVIC Volunteer)

At one point in your life you may have been the victim of bullying. Bullying is not a recent phenomenon, however as technology improves there are more avenues that bullies can use to target their victims. Cyber bullying is just another form of bullying that takes place using interactive digital technologies. Whether a child is being bullied at school or an adult is bullied in the work place, bullying can have a huge impact on anyone’s life. But what is bullying? Who gets bullied and who are the bullies? Most importantly, what can you do about cyber bullying? Here are some answers to these questions:

What is bullying?
According to the Australian Institute of Criminology, bullying can be defined as “any form of aggressive behaviour that isrepeated, intended to cause harm, characterised by an imbalance of power and is hidden from or unacknowledged”. Power imbalances can take many forms: Group power, older/younger power imbalances, experienced- inexperienced and imbalances between socially isolated people and those who are socially connected. These power imbalances can often create a platform for the bullying to begin.

Bullies can use technologies in a variety of ways: creating derogatory websites about victims, sending derogatory mobile phone or email messages and harassing on forums or social networking sites. The intention of bullies could be to defame, threaten, humiliate or badger. There is evidence to suggest that cyber bullying can be more harmful than other types of bullying. This is because a wider audience can witness the bullying adding to the humiliation of the victim. It also means every insult is digitally recorded for the victim to relive so there is less opportunity to escape the harassment.

Who bullies?
Often a child who was bullied themselves will become an adult bully, but adults and children might bully for different reasons. According to the website, Online Bullying, when an adult gets bullied it is usually because they are popular, well liked or good at their job. However, a child is often targeted because they will not or cannot fight back. In most cases, the bully is driven by envy and/or motivated by a need to release feelings of frustration and anger. The following are examples of three types of bullies:

The ‘accidental bully’: their behaviour may be a response to stress and they also may be unaware of the impact they have on others.

The ‘narcissistic bully’: they have a desire for power and will cut down anyone who gets in their way. They may not intentionally set out to be a bully and their behaviour is more of a reaction to any perceived attempts to take away the power.

The ‘serial bully’: they may set out to intentionally hurt others and they are often lacking in empathy or remorse. This bully-type usually does everything out of self interest.

Being bullied can lower self esteem and make one feel sad, alone and scared. The bullying can have a negative impact on psychological and physical health; in some cases a victim could become depressed or anxious as a result of bullying or become physically sick as a result of the stress. While it can be tricky to deal with a cyber bully, you can overcome cyber bullying.

What can you do?
Making threats or harassing someone is illegal and you can report this to the police, your manager or principal. If you want to report the bullying you may have to accumulate some evidence and take action. For example you can take a snap shot of the screen displaying the offensive material and save it. You can also block the offender from sending you emails. If you need instruction on how to do any of these things and more go to www.cyberbullying.ca

Alternatively, you can ignore the bully. If you are being bullied online, one of the initial ways of dealing with it is to ignore the bully. If the bully cannot get a reaction out of you then they do not get what they desire. Usually when someone does not get what they desire they move on to something else. While an adult may have the ability to ignore a bully, a child is not always as capable. If your child needs help, the following book maybe useful:

Field, E. (2007). Bully blocking: Six secrets to help young children deal with teasing and bullying. London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers.

If you are experiencing work related bullying you may find the following book useful:
Field, T. (1996). Bully in sight: How to predict, resist, challenge and combat workplace bullying. Oxfordshire, UK: Success Unlimited Books.

References
www.bullyonline.org
www.aic.gov.au (Australian Institute of Criminology)
www.psychology.org.au (Australian Psychological Society)

Sheniz Erkan a victim of cyber bulling!

As many of you will have seen in the media, there has been an alarming increase in the number of young people in Australia who have taken their own lives as a result of cyber-bullying.

ADAVIC’s thoughts and prayers are with the family and friends of Sheniz Erkan who took her own life in January after being a target of cyber bullies.

I personally feel it is time that ADAVIC played a role in stamping out bullying.

Lets all work together to STOP THE BULLYING!!!

Bullying. No way!
http://www.bullyingnoway.com.au/?utm_source=ADAVIC+Monthly+Enews+list&utm_campaign=86d0c6df5c-Jan_Newsletter18_01_2012&utm_medium=email

Cure the Bullies

http://www.curethebullies.com.au/flash/

Kids Helpline

http://www.kidshelp.com.au/

Bullying Action Group - New Facebook Page!

New facebook page created to help victims of bullies
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Bullying-Action-Group/109700299131268

BULLYING ACTION GROUP (BAG)
Dedicated to being a beacon to ALL touched by the spectre of bullying – The bullies, the families of the bullied; and even the bullies themselves

Note:
The Administrators and helpers of this group are not professionals – they are mothers who have experienced bullying, psychology students passionate about helping victims of bullying and other individuals who have been associated with domestic violence.

Mental health plan 'too vague' to be of use

Today's Australian reported that the federal government's new 10 year mental health plan has been criticised for being to vague. Mental health experts have suggested that there aren't enough specific goals and targets.

The new plan was released to the public yesterday. It focus' on early detection and treatment and on rewarding mental health patients who continue to participate in society. While most say it is an improvement on previous plans, it is not ideal.

For the full story, check out the Article.

Weekly Quote

Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Upcoming lectures...

Don't Worry: Treating generalised anxiety disorder
Presenter: Peter Kyriakoulis (Clinical Psychologist)
Date: Thursday 23rd February, 7.30pm
Location: Clayton Hall. 264 Clayton Road, Clayton, VIC

From anxiety & panic to courage, commitment, calmness and change...
Presenter: Pauline McKinnon, Psychotherapist & Author
Date: Tuesday 28th February, 7.30pm
Location: Horticultural Centre Function Room. 82 Jolimont Road, Forest Hill, VIC

School refusal: An information session for parents & teachers
Presenter: Dr Simon Kinsella, Clinical Psychologist
Date: Wednesday 7th March, 7.30pm
Location: Cardinia Public Hall. 2405 Ballarto Road, Cardinia, VIC

How to transform distressed sleep to peaceful sleep
Presenter: Dr Donna Golding, Psychologist
Date: Thursday 19th April, 7.30pm
Location: Northcote Town Hall, First Floor, Room B. 189 High Street, Northcote, VIC

Quote of the Day!

"We must use time wisely and forever realise that the time is always ripe to do right." - Nelson Mendela

ADAVIC Support Groups are back for 2012!

SUPPORT GROUPS:-
Kew Anxiety Support Group will recommence on Monday the 16th January 2012.

Coburg Anxiety Support Group will recommence on Monday the 16th January 2012.

Altona Anxiety Support Group will recommence on Tuesday the 17th January 2012.

Berwick Anxiety Support Group will recommence on Tuesday the 24th January 2012.

For further information about our support groups go to this direct link:
http://www.adavic.org.au/PG-social-support-support-groups.aspx

Managing headaches!

Headache disorders are a pandemic. They are the most common disorders of the nervous system, with tension type headaches and migraines being the most prevalent. It has been documented by the World Health Organisation that in developed countries, tension type headaches affect two thirds of adult males and more than 80% of females. They cause personal suffering, impaired quality of life and a significant financial cost. Coping with chronic headache disorder long term may also predispose individuals to other illnesses. For example, depression is three times more common in headache sufferers and research shows that comorbidity exists between anxiety disorders and headaches. Many factors can trigger and aggravate headaches, including stress and negative emotional states, sensory triggers, hunger, lack of sleep, food or drink, alcohol, menstruation and weather. Standard clinical advice is to avoid all trigger factors, but it’s almost impossible to do this and attempts to do so may prove stressful and restrictive. Moreover, some sufferers are not even aware of their triggers!

Lifestyle factors such as relationship or family problems, and worry over exams or work can also be triggers. But, these situations or events do not actually cause the headaches. Our individual reactions to them do. For example, not everyone develops a headache when worrying over an exam or a problem at work. Pre-dispositional factors relating to headaches are not yet well understood. However there is a tendency for them to ‘run’ in families and there can be a genetic component. And while some personality characteristics may also pre-dispose people to certain types of headaches, it’s not inevitable they will experience them. With respect to consequences, the way one responds to a headache will affect the headache experience and the likelihood of them re-occurring. For example, becoming tense, anxious and frustrated in response to a stress-induced headache is a natural reaction, but it does aggravate the problem.

The treatment by our psychologists at the Positive Psychology Centre involves educating headache sufferers around headaches, improving depression and lifestyle modification; identifying and managing headache triggers; mindfulness based strategies; stress management; cognitive training; assertiveness training; problem solving; pain management and relapse prevention.

Written by Peter Kyriakoulis
Director of Positive Psychology Centre

Anxiety/ Fast Paced Life!

In this fast paced life we live, it is not uncommon to experience anxiety. It is actually a pretty “normal” part of life. We may sometimes find it hard to cope with certain stresses, feel overwhelmed by the amount of work we may have to do, fear we cannot catch up and find it difficult to make decisions. I’m sure most of you reading this right now have felt this way before. Sometimes the smaller irritations of everyday life can be blown out of proportion and we can feel as if we are losing control. In small amounts, anxiety is adaptive. It keeps us alert and out of danger, sparks us to action, and helps us to live a long and more fruitful life. When anxiety becomes overwhelming and persistent, that is maladaptive, it limits our functions and interferes with our daily life. This is when we need to start thinking about ways to manage our anxiety and try to slow down.

Managing the stress and anxieties in our fast paced life is all about taking time out here and there for YOU. This may help you to cope. Even though sometimes we feel as if there is not enough time to do this, such as deadlines with work or university, there are many easy and quick strategies you can perform. For example, watching a movie at the end of a hard day, having a relaxing bath, going for a walk, or even going on a mental vacation may help reduce anxiety. Even leaving one afternoon or day during the week for a “mental health day” may reduce unwarranted stress and anxiety and give you the strength to go back to work, tackle an assignment or even just face the next day with a fresh and clear outlook.

Most of all, it is really important to remember to check yourself, if you work in a very fast paced environment, you may likely be fast paced everywhere automatically, so take notice when there is no need for speed and again slow down. Being able to say “no” when you want to is one of the most important things you can do for your mental health. Also remember to breathe. When you find yourself speeding up and stressing out, pause, and take a deep breath. Take a couple more. Really feel the air coming into your body, and feel the stress going out. By fully focusing on each breath, you bring yourself back to the present, and slow yourself down.

Although it is not always possible to completely avoid the stresses that a fast paced life may bring, there are many easy ways we can decide how to healthily respond to it.

By Aly (ADAVIC Volunteer)

Getting Motivated For The New Year

We’re all guilty of procrastinating or putting things off because we feel unmotivated to complete them. Traditionally, one time of year when we promise ourselves we will become more motivated is going into the new year. While New Year’s resolutions seem like a good idea at the time, staying focused and actually completing them is quite challenging. Although there is no absolute solution for enhancing motivation, in understanding how motivation works and the key components behind it, hopefully we can transform our intentions into achievements.

What is motivation?
Our motivation to do something can come from an internal need or drive, known as intrinsic motivation, or from an external source, referred to as extrinsic motivation. If we are intrinsically motivated to complete a task, then we see the task as fulfilling our own personal needs and therefore the task is rewarding in itself. For example, a task such as drinking a glass of water is intrinsically motivating because in doing it we quench our thirst.

Extrinsic motivation occurs when we are motivated to complete the task because of an external reward, such as going to work because you will get paid. One factor that can reduce motivation is if we change the source of the motivation from being intrinsic to extrinsic, or vice versa. For example, if someone was completing a task voluntarily and the source of reward became extrinsic, such as getting paid to do it, then they may be less motivated to do it because they are suddenly being controlled in how the task should be fulfilled.

Another factor influencing our motivation is our sense of self-efficacy. If we believe in ourselves and our ability to perform a task successfully then we are said to have high self-efficacy. We are more likely to have high self-efficacy if we have performed the task successfully before, if we have observed others perform it successfully, or if we receive encouragement from others while doing it.

SMART goals
A practical way of using this information is to set “SMART” goals and to create suitable rewards once these goals have been completed.
SMART goals are those that use the following principles:
Specific
State an objective that is precise rather than being vague or generalising. For example, setting a goal to lose five kilograms is more precise than just aiming to lose weight.
Measurable
If you include an element in your goal that can be measured for change then you will be able to visibly tell when you have completed it. Using the previous example, you can measure if you have reached your goal by standing on scales to measure a change in your weight.
Achievable
Keep your goals small. It is more likely that you will remain motivated to complete a series of small goals rather than just setting a large goal that is overwhelming. This links back to self-efficacy; if we don’t think that we can achieve it then we are going to be unmotivated to do it. Continuing on with the same example, if you set the goal to lose five kilograms in two days you are not going to be motivated to complete it because it is an unrealistic deadline to work to.
Relevant (and resourced)
Make sure your goal has a focus that is relevant and realistic to your life and what you want to achieve. Let’s face it, you’re not going to be very motivated to complete a task that has no significance or rewards for you and your life.
The “R” in “SMART” can also refer to ensuring your goals are resourced. You need to know you have resources to help you achieve what you want to achieve, such as a friend to support you or an instruction book on how to complete a task, so that you have high self-efficacy that you can achieve it. For example, ADAVIC has many resources that can help you to achieve goals relating to your mental health such as support groups and an online forum, as well as a blog (www.adavicnewsandinformationhub.blogspot.com ), and of course this newsletter.
Timely
The best way to remain motivated is to set deadlines. If you say you will achieve the goal by a certain time then you can’t keep putting it off for too long – time catches up with all of us! Just remember to keep your deadlines realistic.
Some things you could try to keep focused and motivated
• A great way to make sure you remain on track with your goals is to write them down. If they are written down, you are less likely to forget them and they feel more “real”. You can also divide the goal into small tasks that you can tick off to show that you have made progress.

• Mark in the date that you want to have achieved your goal by on your calendar or diary. You can also use the calendar on your computer (usually connected to the email application) so that you can use it as a detailed daily time planner to make sure you set aside some time each day to work towards your goal.
• Get some sticky notes and put them around the house to remind yourself of what needs to be done, or write the goal down and attach it to somewhere you will see it each day, such as on the fridge or in the bathroom.
• Think up rewards that you personally look forward to. Some examples may include:

*Letting yourself watch an episode of your favourite TV show after you have completed the task
*Giving yourself a food treat when you have reached a significant milestone. This doesn’t have to be unhealthy; you could treat yourself to some fresh market produce, or you could go and buy your favourite meal from a local restaurant to celebrate completion.
*Giving yourself a break. When you have completed your goal take some time out and do something relaxing like going for a walk.

Ultimately, the issue of motivation is a complex one. The main thing is to work out what works for you on an individual level. Keep your goals SMART and keep your focus small and realistic, the less overwhelmed you feel, the more motivated you will be.

By Stephanie Kenéz
ADAVIC Volunteer

References
Edith Cowan University. (2010). Management For Performance (MPS): how to set and write SMART objectives. Available via http://www.hr.ecu.edu.au/mps/html/mps-smart.cfm
Passer, M.W., &Smith, R.E. (2009). Psychology: the science of mind and behaviour. (4th ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill.

Happy New Year 2012

It’s a New Year!!!

It’s like a new Sunrise of Hope, of Prosperity of Happiness
It’s like new Beginning of Thoughts of Words, of Actions
It’s like a new Day of Energy, of Strength, of Ideas
It’s like a Bunch of whole New things, of Prayers, of Friends and of Love.