Experiencing Stillness Meditation CD...

Experiencing Stillness Meditation CD
By Pauline McKinnon.

Author and psychotherapist, Pauline McKinnon is acknowledged by the late Australian psychiatrist, Dr Ainslie Meares as a prominent exponent of his unique approach to meditation - the experience of stillness. She is widely known for her work in this field and her book In Stillness Conquer Fear describes her own journey of positive change from anxiety and tension to stress free living. In her private practice in Melbourne Australia, Pauline works with both adults and children, cultivating life enhancement through stillness meditation.

She conducts lectures and workshops for various groups including schools, community centres and hospitals, and is a guest university presenter. If you are too distant to share mediation time with Pauline, or if you simply feel the need for help with your daily practise or a glimpse into her sessions, this introduction to stillness is for you.

A natural and simple lifeskill for tranquility, this style of meditation brings freedom from anxiety and tension and the discovery of harmony, health and happiness the qualities of a better life. Instructional and experiential, this presentation will be of interest and guidance to those who seek stress free living.

This CD can be purchased from our online store at http://www.adavic.org.au/

Quote of the Day!

"The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." - Allan K. Chalmers

Meditation: An Antidote to Anxiety

Why do it?

I won’t beat around the bush. Meditation is simply one of the most practical and effective methods in reducing one’s anxiety. Those who have suffered from anxiety and have given meditation a genuine go will often tell you with wide eyes in an almost disturbing manner how much they have regained their life through practicing regular meditation. You will learn to relax the body and mind to an extent most people are completely unfamiliar with – and over time you develop a much friendlier and healthier relationship with your thoughts. You come to see and understand how thoughts can contribute to stress and that it is possible to live a life with less anxiety, worry and concern. People also often discover a degree of tranquillity and mental clarity that they never imagined possible. Life often seems to flow more smoothly and difficulties become easier to manage.

Its benefits have been scientifically proven through extensive clinical research and medical evidence to the degree that it is now recommended by Psychiatrists and Psychologists as part of the standard treatment regime offered to patients suffering anxiety disorders. On a physiological level, meditation results in decreased blood pressure, better circulation, lower pulse and metabolic rates and less muscular tension. It also affects the immune system and alters the levels of various hormones in the body. It therefore has proven benefits in relieving the effects of insomnia, hypertension, migraines, fatigue, pain, digestive problems and chronic illness. If you’re not one for the cold hard facts, perhaps you can be convinced of its effectiveness through the knowledge that many celebrities now practice meditation regularly!

So why doesn’t everyone with anxiety meditate?

People either don’t attempt it for various reasons, or they try only half heartedly and then proclaim “1) I can’t do it, 2) my mind is always racing and I can’t control it”. 1) Scientific fact: everyone can do it, it is not like singing where you seem to have it or you don’t! But it does take time and effort to learn. 2) Of course your mind is racing, that is the very reason you are leaning meditation, to calm the mind. You are not trying to control your mind; that is impossible; you are learning to objectively observe it.

So, what is meditation?

There are a lot of misconceptions about meditation. You do not have to renounce the material world, shave your head, go to Tibet and sit in a cave for rest of your life. You can if you like, but really meditation is quite simply the ‘art of deliberately relaxing the body and calming the mind’. These are simple skills that anyone can learn, much as you would if you took up an instrument or sport or underwent any other sort of training. The skills are based on clear, verifiable principles and are surprisingly easy to do. During meditation you:
- learn how to calm yourself rapidly
- discover how to identify and let go of physical and mental stress
- learn to watch your thoughts and emotions objectively
- enjoy new found mental clarity and awareness

Meditation is also easy to adapt to your own needs. You can integrate it into the busiest of lifestyles and use it for all kinds of different purposes. At work, you could do a momentary ‘spot meditation’ to quickly de-stress. You could use it to heighten your enjoyment whilst walking or eating, or to prepare yourself for an exam or important meeting.

In brief, people meditate to:
- relax, de-stress and better cope with anxiety
- remain calm and balanced throughout the day
- improve their health
- cope better with pain and sadness
- develop greater awareness
- stimulate creative thinking
- find happiness, beauty and meaning

To find out how to meditate try reading some books, searching the internet, listening to guided CD’s or attending classes in meditation.

Recommendations for further information and resources
Pauline McKinnon, Life Development Centre- http://www.stillnessmeditation.com.au/
Melbourne meditation centre- http://www.melbournemeditationcentre.com.au/
Meditation Society of Australia- http://www.meditation.org.au/

By Tim Blake (2008)

Simple and proven ways to live a happier life!

When attempting to understand and overcome our anxieties we can sometimes feel overwhelmed by the amount of information out there. Having only a limited amount of time in our busy days to invest in our own self development, one of the big challenges is finding out what works for us individually. I have attempted to put together some simple tried and proven ways to live a happier, more anxiety free life.

Lighten up. Don’t be afraid to look at life and your anxiety with a bit of humour. Sigmund Freud, a pioneering psychiatrist, was a huge fan of humour and identified it as a mature defence mechanism in coping with stress.

Appreciate your anxiety (I know that’s tough!). Just as in life, nothing is black and white, neither is your anxiety all bad. Without suffering from anxiety it’s unlikely you would be such a sensitive, empathic or creative person. Give anxiety a little bit of credit.

Explore spirituality. Read a little Buddhism, attend church out of interest, do some meditation or read some philosophy. Your mind is like an elastic band, once stretched by a new way of thinking, it will never return completely to its former tension.

“There is no such thing as right or wrong, but thinking makes it so” Shakespeare.
Remember this sequence 1) Event 2) Thought 3) Feeling. This is a key concept, it is not the event that causes you to feel a certain way, but your response to the event, the way you think about and respond to the event. Understand this concept and you have made a significant step towardsunderstanding your anxiety. Congratulations!

Let go of hatred towards others. Why? Hatred is like holding a hot coal that you are going to throw at your enemies, you are the one getting burnt. In short, hatred causes you suffering. How do you let go of it? You forgive. I know that sounds pathetic but it works. How do you forgive? You can try love, but often that’s to hard to begin with, so try empathising or pitying them instead, anything is better than poisoning yourself with hatred. How do you pity your enemies if all you can feel is hatred? Simple, remember this saying next time someone hurts you; ‘hurt people, hurt people’. The bully at school is bullied at home. The girl who bitches most is the most insecure within herself. If someone feels the need to drag others down, it’s because they themselves feel down. Forgiving doesn’t mean kissing and hugging them. In fact, you may wish never to see them again. That’s fine. But at least you are no longer carrying hatred with you. I know it is easier said than done, but that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be said!

Invest in anxiety for a calmer future. Challenge your comfort zone every now and then, expose yourself to your anxieties. Look at it as an investment in a calmer more peaceful future. A stitch in time saves nine. Short term pain for long term gain!

Try to reduce your need to judge and label other people. Let them be. Basically speaking, we judge others in the same way as we judge ourselves. The mind is a funny thing, if we are more accepting of others and less critical and judgemental of their flaws, we treat ourselves in the same manner subconsciously. Accepting others, warts and all, flows onto our own acceptance, leading to better self esteem. Give it a bash.

Love yourself! Society often confuses this with arrogance when in fact they are opposites. Self love is the opposite to arrogance. Ghandi, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King and Mother Teresa all had supreme self love for themselves, certainly not arrogance, and that allowed them to extend love to others through true forgiveness and compassion. Arrogance is a lack of self love demonstrated in the need to assert superiority over others. Self love is quite the opposite. You have to first love yourself, before you can truly love others, or as Shakespeare put it ‘Self love my lord is not so vile a sin as self neglecting’. Sometimes the biggest act of love you can give to your family and friends is to first take action towards loving yourself.
“People do not care how much you know until they know how much you care”.
Want friends to like and care more about you? Who doesn’t! But often we go about it the wrong way. We try to be perfect, or to impress them with our achievements. People will be impressed, sure, but is all your hard work and desire to impress and be perfect really just a desire to be loved? Of course it is. If you think about it, people feel most comfortable around friends who are imperfect, friends who are happy in themselves and don’t feel the need to impress. So, embrace your imperfections, they are often what makes you loveable. Instead, put the hard work into caring and being there for your friends. Then you will get more of what you are really after, love in return. Hooray, what a relief, we no longer have to impress everyone to be loved, impressing sure was hard work!

Yoda from Star Wars said: ‘Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hatred. Hatred leads to suffering.’ Take the little dudes advice, if you suffer from anger and hatred it may be because of your fears. Bosses are no more deserving of hatred than anyone else, but how many of us hate our boss? Often it is because we fear them, which leads to anger and hatred. Recognising this subconscious fear is important as it allows you to release some of the anger and hatred you have stored away. In doing so, you suffer less.

Invest one tenth of the time, effort and money you put into your body, into your mind. Read self development books instead of trashy magazines. Do a course in mediation or yoga instead of the gym this month. Spend money on seeing a psychologist rather than buying the latest winter fashion. We are often fantastic at putting our resources into our body, but our mind is often neglected. Many of us exercise regularly, spend time buying and preparing good food, spend lots of our hard earned money on expensive haircuts, cosmetics and clothes. All to make us feel better, attract a suitable partner and live longer. That’s fantastic, however the balance is often out and by shifting 1/10 of our focus from the body to developing our minds we will live longer, happier lives and become even more attractive. Putting time into developing your mind will reduce your anxiety and improve your self esteem, all making you a much happier person- although it’s not immediately obvious, hence the reason we don’t often do it. The more effort put into developing your mind will breed self confidence, an extremely attractive feature, as well as stability, helping you to maintain long term relationships with the opposite sex. A calmer, more peaceful mind also leads to less stress on the body, hence you will live longer.

Take a compliment without disqualifying it. Sounds simple but often isn’t, especially if you have low self-esteem. People are generous with compliments not to those who are most deserving, but to those who show most appreciation in reply. If someone thanks or congratulates you, be brave, look them in the eye and say with meaning ‘thankyou’. Try to resist the temptation to disqualify your achievements, otherwise you are throwing the compliment back in the persons face and they will stop giving them to you. By accepting a compliment you are showing compassion to the other person, as well as compassion to yourself. As the Dalai Lama said ‘If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.’ Don’t be afraid to love and be loved.

Tim Blake (March 2008)

The Ocean - Poem by Eva Savov

There is a feeling, a kind of feeling, words cannot describe, once one learns to be silent and listens to the ocean. One truly understands the meaning of one great man that once said: "Man cannot discover new oceans until he has courage to lose sight of the shore."
A peace of mind occurs. Suddenly you feel the truth within your heart. A magical feeling as you unite and become one with your body, mind and heart. Somehow, you stop analyzing and seeing what's only in front of you. You look deeper and further. You see the waves how they unleash the truth that lies deep within you. You lose sight of all that is limiting and hope finds its way back to your heart. You stop questioning and doubting yourself. You discover the feeling of love that has been yearning for you to share it with the wondrous things in this beautiful land. There is no right or wrong, for love goes beyond any words or actions. It's like a ray of light that leaves your heart and brings a shine to everything that it touches.
The breeze of the wind against your face, is nature's slap to awaken you to what is reality. And reality is, a heart full of love does not experience jealousy, hate or anger, it does not need material possessions to feel happy or waits for someone else to bring it happiness.
You awaken to the truth. The truth is, once you learn to love, honour and appreciate yourself, all other feelings experienced, came to you from feeling insecure and not nurturing and loving yourself.

By: EVA SAVOV
Copyright © 1994

"My Journey" by Justine

I am a fairly new member to the Anxiety Disorders Association of Victoria (although I am wishing I had found them years ago), and I have been thoroughly enjoying reading my newsletter. I love hearing everyone’s stories and I am always reassured to know that I am not on this journey we call “mental illness” on my own.

Today I felt compelled to share my story with you, seeing as so many others have opened up their hearts and lives to share their stories.

I guess my story shouldn’t be too much unlike everyone else’s, but I think what makes my story that little bit different is that I am further along my journey than many of you are.

The story begins with a 29 year old woman who had everything she could possibly want in life – a great partner, a brilliant job, money, a fast car, a fantastic house, tonnes of clothes and a huge future – and it ends with a 33 year old woman who once again has everything she could possibly want in life – although the list is a fair bit different to the one above. I still have the great partner and a huge future, but it is losing the things in between that has been a huge part of this journey.

At the age of 29 and with the world at my feet I experienced the first of many panic attacks. This of course, is the one that none of us will forget. (I even remember the time of day it happened!!) These continued and got worse for many months to come. My “brilliant job” became too hard to handle, so I sat at home on the couch. I lost my income and my car, I sold my clothes on ebay and suddenly the most exciting thing in my life was watching Oprah at 2pm everyday. I have to tell you at this point that if I did not have the loving and supportive family and man in my life that I have, I am not sure that I would be capable of writing this story today.

I am now 33. I run my own internet business, I work part time in a retail store, I am about 80% of my way through this journey I had to take, and I am the happiest I have been in a long, long time.

I won’t sugar coat this for you. It has been tough, very tough …….

There have been days that have felt like Mt Everest and others that have only felt like Mt Buller. But I want you all to know that over time, these mountains do get smaller. I still have my bad days, but now bad days only seem like Mt Dandenong. And the goods ones feel like sunshine.

Everyone will tell you that it is all the people around you who get you through this journey. And whilst it is true that a great GP, a psychologist, a wonderful family and a loving spouse and great friends are all very important to this journey, they are not the most important part. YOU are. It was the days that I decided I had to fight, that I fought the hardest. It was the days that I decided I had to take another step further, that I went the furthest. And it was the days that I decided I would make great that were the greatest. It was not the decisions of any of these other people. Maybe that is just the stubborn side of me, but some days it was that side of me that I needed to work for me.

I know many of you will agree with me here, that one of the most frustrating parts of dealing with this disorder, is the perception that others have of us. I will call these people “outsiders”, for want of a better word. These “outsiders” seem to think that we are lazy, silly, stupid, crazy etc. (and I’m sure there are plenty more insults that I haven’t yet heard). But I will NEVER say that about any of us. I know too well that our apparent laziness or unwillingness to work or contribute to life is due to fear. And I know how crippling that fear can be. But if I can help just one person today, I want you to know that there really is nothing to fear. Sure, the first steps (whatever your first steps are – as everyone’s are different) are hard, really hard …….

But believe me, they are the hardest and then everything else after that is a lot easier. Taking those first few steps to conquering your fears really does give you the confidence to do and try more.

Another small piece of advice that I want to give everyone, is to praise yourself when you do take a step forward. I didn’t do this …… and became my own worst enemy because of that. But once I learnt how to do this, I can honestly say that it makes moving forward a hell of a lot easier. In doing this, you need to take time out for yourself. You need to sit down and say to yourself “you did really well today…”, and you need to pat yourself on the back. And this helps to give you confidence to do and try more things. I found that a great motivator for me was rewards. It almost became like dog training …… I would set myself a goal for the week. It may have been to spend half an hour at the supermarket, or to go to a crowded market, or to go to the football at the MCG (this was one of the very last goals I set myself!!). And I would set myself a reward. In my case, as I love clothes and shoes, it would be to reward myself with a new skirt or a new pair of shoes. Which in turn would make me want to get out and try new things, because I had a new skirt or a new pair of shoes to show off. We need to do these things to make ourselves feel better.

I am certainly no expert on this matter. I only know what I know, because I went through it myself. And I know that most of you would have doctors or psychologists that know what they are talking about. And you should always listen to them. But I just thought that maybe one or two of you out there would want to hear it from someone whose done it …… take those first steps to getting through this journey, everything after that seems so much easier. And life DOES get better …… I know, because mine has and I want yours to as well. And I hope that in time I can meet some of you at support groups or lectures, so that I can say hi and wish you well.

By Justine —March 2008

Anna's Story...

(Note: This story is not on Anna Kouloubos, Managing Director of ADAVIC)

Anna’s Story

Hi my name is Anna, and I’m a 22 year old university student who has social phobia. I’m not exactly sure when this all started for me, I can remember being a happy-go-lucky child but my teenage years were pretty stressful. I remember the phobia becoming a real problem when I left high school and started Uni. I would just become absolutely terrified at the prospect of being asked questions in lectures or appearing strange or different to everyone else in my classes. I was really frightened that I would embarrass myself by saying something or doing something stupid and that everyone would laugh at me. It really affected my studies, I found it hard to go to my lectures and if I did go I would end up panicking and have to sneak out of the room. I would always sit at the back close to the exit so that I could just slink out when it all became too much. I worried that the lecturers thought that I was lazy or unable to do the work, and that my classmates would just think that I was weird, and that made my anxiety worse. I also found social situations extremely difficult, especially large groups, and at my age that’s something that is really hard to deal with and explain to others. When the anxiety hit I felt like I had no control over myself, I would shake, my heart would pound, and then there’s the sweating and feeling of hot then cold. I would become short of breath and my chest would tighten. So many times I was convinced I would die, or that I had contracted a horrible disease. I finally decided to look for help and that’s when I found PADA. I had a talk with them over the phone and they made me feel very comfortable. I attended an info session with my best friend in town and then we decided to attend a weekend workshop together. I was terrified and I was getting all of those horrible feelings, but I was determined to get some help. I found both the info session and the workshop very helpful, and I was so relieved to find that there were others who felt the same as me. I am now working through this with my psychologist and things are better. I’m back at Uni on a part time basis. Some days are still really hard. Especially when I see others sitting around chatting and socializing in the cafeteria, and I hear people talk about what a fantastic night out they had. It still makes me sad sometimes, but I’m lucky I have a couple of very supportive friends who are always around to lend a hand, and Mum seems to be a bit more understanding these days.

One day that will be me chatting and laughing with a big group of friends planning our next night out. I have faith in myself and the determination to continue on this journey however long and winding it may be.
You should join me!

Re-printed with permission from The Panic Anxiety Disorder Association (South Australia)